Praise be to Allaah, the Lord of the Worlds, and peace and blessings be upon the Trustworthy Prophet Muhammad and upon all his family and companions.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Poem



Get Your Lips off My Dress!
© 2006 Umasiyah Hodan Abdullah Hussein

I feel good of myself and worship my Lord
And really of your ignorant words I am bored
I know a jewel like me is rare
But don't stare as though I am unaware
I ask of you to be sincere and fair
Judge me not by the cover on my face or hair
There is a person under the clothes I wear
With feelings, intellect and esteem
With goals, ambitions and dreams
It is not at all what it seems

So please, get your lips off my dress
Tell me why does it cause you stress
What I wear is my business
So get your lips off my dress
Yes… Get your lips off my dress

Don't tell me I am oppressed when I know I am not
A silly argument you've got!
Let me educate you in case you are for real
That my clothes are not out for your steal
Your fashion is not my desire
You don't dictate to me my attire
Oah… so you want to free me
Forcing me to free me is an irony
For your eyes simply refuse to see
That I am walking the earth freely
Content with my faith and modesty

Come on now, get your lips off my dress
Tell me why does it cause you stress
What I wear is my business
So get your lips off my dress
Yes… Get your lips off my dress

I am hiding my femininity you say
Rather, I am aware of it night and day
My body is like my home, while I have nothing to hide
I have the right to privacy and who sees what's inside
Not everyone who knocks the door enters therein
For my faith has guided me from sin
I respect my body and refuse to be used
To advertise commodity or other men amuse
Only those who I am safe with can see
This beauty that I hide within me
Natural and feminine with dignity

That's right, get your lips off my dress
Tell me why does it cause you stress
What I wear is my business
So get your lips off my dress
Yes… Get your lips off my dress

My hijab is a barrier, next you debate
The only barrier is the one YOU create
If I was to call you on a phone
Send you a fax, email you unknown
You'd never think it creates separation
Or that it hinders our communication
So why this double standard with my veil?
I just don't wish to be exposed to a strange male
Simple as that!... so listen up Jack
If I knock on your door, don't have a heart attack
Muslim women observe veils… respect that fact

Seriously, get your lips off my dress
Tell me why does it cause you stress
What I wear is my business
So get your lips off my dress
Yes… Get your lips off my dress

The veil hinders our integration into 'society'
How so? You see us walking and driving in the city
Going to the bank, shopping at the mall
We're nursing at the hospitals, Doctors on call
Business women, teachers, Mothers and all
Some of us are still studying at university
The wealthy help the needy and pay charity
Muslim women in harmony with community
It is just time you accept the world of diversity
Ethnocentrism robs you of so much wonder
Open your mind and allow it to ponder
Meanwhile, Get your lips off my dress
Tell me why does it cause you stress
What I wear is my business
So get your lips off my dress
Yes… Get your lips off my dress

Monday, November 27, 2006

Stepping Carefully


For those of you who didn't know that my binats in pecking order consist of my percocious 6 year old step daughter, rightly named female lion, my almost 4 year old passive aggressive natural daughter who was wrongfully named after the quality of calmness and my fiesty 2 and some change year old who has a name I have yet been able decipher its origin. These are the Binats.
Coming into my marriage, I knew that my husband's daughter from a previous islamic marriage was going to play a major role in our relationship. Even when we met face to face on a sitdown (for all you philly sister, you know what I mean) she was there. While trying to ask all the important questions she ran around the musella, chewed up my stirofome cup and even bit my finger. But it wasn't until I peeped my husband from around the corner carrying her with the diaper bag comfortably slung around his shoulder and laying her down to be changed, talking gently to her and seeing her trust in him made me feel confident that I could see myself married to this man excepting stepmom-dom.
From the beginning, my husband wanted majority custody of her. At the time, the divide was equal coming out to 15 days here and 15 days there and it is amazing that even now he can still remember the schedule. Eventually as I officially moved in, met her mom and began assuming the duties of mommy in our house I soon realized that there were many details that I had over looked.
Beyond the obvious if getting to know my step daughter and gaining her trust, but also gaining the trust of the birth mother, especially when you are stepping a small child. Then comes the debate of over what kind of relationship was I going to forge with her mom? To be friends or not to be that is the question. And honestly, almost 6 years running I still haven't found the answer. Ideally, mom and step-mom should be co-moms, however theof emotions of feeling replaced by mom and the feeling of being an outsider by step mom causes constant hegimoney between the two. Also, whether to or not take on the role of being the liaison between my husband and his ex-wife in matters concerning their child. Again, I still haven't figured this one out either. In essence, step families, blended families and divorce with children is complicated.

In some situations, stepping gives rise to many of the same issues that are shared in polygyneous marriages. In our situation, my husband had two people and sometimes 3 including my step daughter vying for the attention of one man, but all in different ways. Ex-wife needed parental and financial support. Daughter needed love, security and structure. And me, I needed all of the above. And even though both families are seperate changes in one often more so than not, effects the other. For me, I have struggled with being flexible with the constant fluctuation of schedules, family dynamics and geographic changes. At times, leaving things in a less than harmoneous state. As well, I have seen my own kids suffer under the circumstances of having a part-time sister or the idea that she has another life apart from them.

At times, I became so overwhelmed that it almost cost my marriage. With my husband I had to step carefully, because I was always being tested on my loyalty to him and his daughter. Of course everyone is watching to see if my Wicked Step Mom qualities will come out and at times, I began to second guess myself.
Some advise that I which I had to learn the hard way. Never let your husband talk smack about his ex-wife. Unless she's a kaffir on crack, she's still a muslim and the mother of your step-child and you have to develope some type of working relationship with her. Always have a sister or two who have been there done that and equally don't back bite keeping everything halal. Learn the art of negotiation and try and take the switzerland approach on tuff issues. And for birth moms, always know that step-mom will never replace you, respect her and join forces against spoiled kids.

Comment Deleted


The other morning, I deleated my first comment. Usually, I am elated to have tangible proof that the sisters are reading my posts, however this time I wasn't. I published the comment, but early the next morning, I clicked around and figured out how to remove it and I did. Why? Well, my blog is about myself as a homeschooling, ummie, wife, salafi, daughter, friend and all around strange person, thus the title Gharabah. Even though, I choose to label myself as a salafi mean: that I strive to call to the truth of the Qur'an and the Sunnah, which is the adherence to the path of the Messenger, may peace of Allah upon him, and the Fathful Believers, namely the Pious Forefathers (i.e. As Salaf as-Saalih) if of the Islamic Community of Believers and all those who follow in their footstep in their beliefs, actions and morals. Hey, don't we all want this? So, my family, we choose to take our deen from certain sources and likewise we leave off others and that is that. I enjoy sharing the tid bits of knowledge that I am able to obtain from my studies. I am not interested in arguing, because it is a waste of time. So, if individuals are uncomfortable with the books I quote from, the masjids I attend, and the events I advertise, you may comment, but be aware that it may not be posted.

Monday, November 20, 2006

Do We Ask Too Many questions?




As I mentioned several posts-ago that I am reading The Creed of The Pious Predecessors: The People of Hadeeth by Aboo 'Uthmaan Islmaa'ell ibn 'Abdurrahmaan As-Saaboonee. Already, I have read the book in its entirety, but I decided to make it a three-round read; the second read for taking notes and the third for memorizing some, but not all of the important ayat from the Qurans, hadeeths and statements of the salaf pertaining to aqeedah. While taking notes on the chapter entitled The Qur'aan is the Speech of Allah and It is Not Created, I was forced to stop and read, re-read and read again one particular quote:
13 Ibn Jareer said: I heard a group of my Companions, who were so numerous, that I am unagle to remember their names, they all related from Imaam Ahmad, radiyahllaahu 'anhu, that he used to say:
"One who says that my recitation of the Qur'aan is created, then he is from the Jahmiyyah. One who says that it is not created, is an innovator."



For clarification, the Jahmiyyah is a particular group upon innovation, some scholars even call them unbelievers. However this statement is rather perplexing. But, I didn't understand what he was getting at. So, I read the translators note in the footnotes and it said:
"Related by 'Abdullah ibn Ahmad in as-Sunnah[181-1885] and at-Tabaree in Sareeh us-Sunnah [30-33]. The saying of the Salaf is that the Qur'ann which is written on paper, memorised in the hearts and recited upon the tongues, is the uncreated Speech of Allah. However, due to the fact that the human voice and the movement of ones tongue, are created actions (see chapter 16), the innovators said ambiguously that my recitation of the Qur'aan is created. This can lead to the previous saying that the Qur'aan itself is created. So the scholors such as Imaam Ahmad warned against this statement."

Okay, yeah that is stated the first part of his statement, when he referred to the jahmiyyah, right? But what did the second part: "One who says that it is not created, is an innovator" mean?
I continued reading and taking notes then in the next chapter that discussed Allah Istiwaa Over his throne, I cam across two important statements. The first being from Imaam Malik related from Ja'far ibn Maimoon that some asked the imaam about the istawaa and he replied in one narration:

"Al-Istawaa is know and how it is, is not know. Eemaan in it is obligatory and question it is an innovation. I do not perceive you except as a misguided one."

The second statement found in the footnotes is declared by Ibn Taimiyyah as saheeh in al-Fatawaa al-Hamawiyyah that Ibn Khuzaiman said: "I say, one who confirms that by believing in the book of Allaah and the ahadeeth of the Messenger of Allaah, (Sallaahu wa Salaam), entrusting their nature toAllah and his Messenger and does not get involved in trying to interpret and delve too deep in this matter, then he is a Muslim. . . However, one who rejects this after having knowledge then he is on a path other than that of the as-Salaf us-Salaliheen because he gave priority to his intellect over the text. Then his affair is upto Allaah and we seek refudge with Allaah from misguidence and heresy."

In each chapter, the imaam provides statements from the people of hadeeth that instruct us not to ask the questions why and how. And in fact doing so is an act of innovation. Later on the in the book, the story of a companion named Sabeegh of the tribe of Tameem who was punnished for going around asking other companions like Umar Al-Khattah randome question about the meaning of this verse and that verse from the Qur'aan. After some time, Umar ordered that the man be whipped one hundred times and confined to a room. After he was released he was whipped another one hundred times and had to be carried away, after which he was prevented from attending any gatherings until he swore that what ever had come over him was gone. After some time, he started up again and again he was beaten. Finally, he swore to stop. This story was related by Yahya ibn Sa-eed from Sa'eed inb al-Musayyab.

And finally al-Awzaa'ee, Sufyaan and Maalik were asked to describe the Attributes of Allah and the seeing them in the hereafter: They all said:

"Treat it how it comes, without saying how."

Masha'Allah

It's Alive . . .

For those of you who have been waiting at the edge of your office chairs to hear the rest of the Bunk Bed of Dooom saga . . .

Finally, after a typically frustrating DAY at IKEA, we were able to put the bed together and my kids (or at least one) is sleeping in it. Even after it was built, we still had a pile of spare parts and a bag partially full of mystery screws. The finished product doesn't exactly mirror the image on the directionless directions nor the manufactures photos. One part we just didn't have. Several parts had wholes that weren't supposed too, were as other didn't have wholes that were they should either. So we made our own creation that was sturdy enough for the Destruco-Binats. I have to say, this was the most challanging IKEA product that I have ever had to assemble. And I thought I was a professional. I actually contemplated making it a business; building stuff for the impatient pampered IKEA shopper. If there was ever a contast for building BILLY bookcases, I would be there with my allen keys and a hammer.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

IKEA Jones and the Bunk Bed of Doooooom









The room is painted and we were ready to start construction. Until . . . We met the bunk bed of doom. I had scoured craigslist, ebay and freecycle for a bunk bed for my kids. But when I saw FREE . . . CHA-CHING! and it wasn't too far away! I called immediately, my hubby picked it up and scored 3 FREE torch lamps. Masha'Allah. 4 months later, we are trying to put it together and . . . things aren't going so well. We spent 2 hours last night in the room trying to decipher IKEAbonics, which consists of pictures of blob like genderless people, numbers and diagrams and absolutely no words. The screws didn't fit, we were missing pieces and the directions didn't direct. I am little crushed, because everyone who knows me, knows that I LOVE IKEA. Both my husband and I are former employees and I am a buff of putting their stuff together and how to get the best out of the not-so-well-known AS IS department. The place where you can get all kinds junk for less. I know IKEA isn't the most user friend place and the furniture quality reflects the prices, but I still love the aesthetics of the Swedish look.

Back to the bed . . . one trip to the store, a lost mommy and absolutely no real recourse for my problem, we are back home with a bag full of mystery screws and a husbands whose mad, because the cafeteria person told him the meat balls were beef (this is why I don't eat meat out.) So, I guess this is what I get for being cheap and loving anything from IKEA, even if it's junk. Make Dua for us that we get the binats out of our room . . .




Wednesday, November 15, 2006

How Do You Say MAINTENANCE with a Korean Accent










I guess, he would sound something like the character "Long Duck Dong," from Sixteen Candles minus the chime of giant cymbals everytime he appeared.
Every morning the Binats and I take a walk. Sometimes we go to the store, the playground or we loop around the various courts pushing a mini-plastic shopping cart and the BIG WHEEL. Today, I noticed coming around the bend to our court, a big white truck parked in one of the spaces in front of our house. Ah, maintenance . . . As I approached, I thought I had been mistaken, but the sound of music coming from the open livingroom window. It was, it was Jingle Bell Rock. I openned the door, yelled hello and it was indeed Maa'naance. I had forgotten that I called about our lousy outlets that couldn't seem too hold any plugs, especially the vacum nor the hair dryer; two crucial appliences to a housewife. He had turned our radio on and changed it the station from NPR to the Christmas station.

I showed him which plugs were giving me the problem. However, everytime I call and they come and everytime I end up feeling like an idiot for making them come out. You see, he explained my problem wasn't the outlets, but my foreign made products, from IKEA. Lol, none of the items were from Ikea. But in anycase, all I needed to do was widen the prongs on the plugs so that they would stay. I guess, I should have thought of that myself. Even though he was right, I still succeeded in finding two outlets that indeed needed replacing. Maybe instead of being a hyperchondriac, I am hyper-fixiat.

Monday, November 13, 2006

It's Like genealogy














Currently, I am reading the books pictured above. Usually, I try not to read two books at one time and actually, I don't get to read anything at all, but with 20 min. open before bed and a query lingering over my head, I started reading. The two books are The Creed of the Pious Predecessors The People of Hadeeth by The Great Imam Aboo'Uthmaan Ismaa'eel ibn Abdurrahman As Saaboonee and the other The Status of the People of Hadeeth by Allaamah and Muhaddith Shaikh Rabee' ibn Haadee al-Madhkhalee. Essentially these books discuss identical issues. The book by As Saboonee focuses on the people of Hadeeth's treatise of issues of the Aqeedah of Allah and his Messenger and Shaikh Rabee's book looks at the status of the great Muhadaatha of the past. The reason why I zeroed on on these texts, because I have been noticing since the explosion of Islamic information on the web many individuals, communities and institutions abandoning the methodologies of the sunnah and replacing them with man- made ideologies. So much so that the believers don't know who the real scholars are and rely on callers and imams for guidance in understanding the deen of al-Islam. I have been in a position many times when I hear individuals say that they don't know who to follow, who are the shayuk and are confused as to who is on the correct path.

Shaykh Al-Baanee, Hafidhahullah, said"

"Some people may find it hard to accept the explanation of the those scholars that the Victorious Group and the Saved Sect, are the People of the Hadeeth, but that is not strange if we remember what follow:

That the People of of Hadeeth are, due their specialization in studying the Sunnah and what is connected to it, likewise the knowledge of the biographies of the narrators and the defects in the narrations and also the knowledge of the different routes of narration, most definitely, they are the most knowledgeable of the people about the Prophet, (Sallahu Alahi wa salaaam) and his guidance, manners, battles, and everything else connected to him."

And Al -Khateeb al-Baghdaadee (Hafidhhahullah) said:

"And if only, the person of blameworthy opinions were to occupy himself with beneficial knowledge and if he were to seek the Sunnah of the Messenger of Allah (Sallahu Alaihi wa Salaam), and that he followed the way of the scholars and the People of the Hadeeth, he would find that which would enrich him, as to whatever he sought. . . So the People of Hadeeth are Allah's faithful custodians among men and the link between the Prophet and his nation."

For many muslims we focus our attention of the obvious scholars such as Sahih Bukhari and Muslim, as well as the writings of The four great imams, ibnul Kathir. But since the beginning of the khalifat, for every generation since then have been blessed with dozens of scholars, Great Imams of the times. The ones mentioned above achieved greatness at different times and were not contemporaneous with one another. However, this scholarship has not ceased. You see All true scholarship isn't already compiled, translated and published ready to ship from Islam.com. There have been Great Imams in our time, like of Shaykh al-Baanee, Ibn Baaz and Uthaymeen, Hafidhahullahuma. Believe it or not, there still continue to be Great Imams in the making. But how to do find these scholars; People Hadeeth? Al-Baanee and Uthaymeen in their writings declared the knowledge of living scholars to be strong, without mistakes in their methodologies and only the ignorant would critize them. An example would be Shaykh Rabee' hafidhahullah. He is professor in the University of al-Madinah and head of the department of Sunnah, in the Higher Studies department. When asked about him, Shaykh Uthaymeen replied,"I do not know it [methodology] to be contrary [to Ahlus-Sunnah]. Shaikh Rabee' has been praised by the people of knowledge of today. I do not know anything but good about him." I found this quote in his book The Status of the People of hadeeth along with favorable quotes from Al Baanee, ibn Baaz and Fawzaan. So if these individual praise him, why wouldn't we take our deen from him? Others, Masha'Allah who hold great Ilm are Shaykh Ali Shaykh, the Grand Mufti of Saudi Arabia and Shaykh Fawzaan of the Ulema Kibaar.But how do we access him and others like him?

I guess finding the real scholars can be difficult since the dua'at and imams are so accessible. It seems every other blog has a link to Zaytuna and Al Maghrib institutes. A number those leading gatherings in the popular institutions have studied in various places with the Shayuk. Some of their teachers are custodians of the Sunnah and some are not. These institutions advertise colorful classes on history, love and marriage and brotherhood, but these lessons can be learned by exploring the books that lay the foundations of our beliefs : Forty Hadeeth, Riyadul Saliheen, Beneficial Knowledge, Qowlul Mufeed, Bulughul Muram, Thalathul Usool and there are so many more.
These classes are available online, in-person or via the phone by the scholars themselves with translations by their students. Why not cut out the middle man and go straight to the source.

My policy these days is if individual isn't known by the people of hadeeth then it's best to leave him alone.

Check out these sites:
www.spubs.com
www.bakkah.net
www.sahab.net (arabic)
www.palktalk.com - like religion/islam/salafi duroos 0r Salafipublications, Masjid Rahmah . . .

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Skip Died


Did Grandpop die? He's not in the hospital anymore? He was too sick? Did they put him in the ground?
Last spring my father passed away, after nearly a year of battling lung cancer. The idea that he is no longer accessible is perplexing to me and I wonder if I haven't truly excepted the fact that he is dead. Usually in bed, laying down naps in day light or in the night I think about him. And only at those moments do my eyes become glossy and disoriented with tears. I imagine him sick, in the bed at the hospice - no longer jolly with wispy white hair, but emaciated with a patchy buzz cut done by "Jack of all trades," Mr. Bernard his roommate with the sincere approval of the Unquakerly Quaker. I remember his finger touching my hand, a gesture that mean not to worry and the appreciation in his eyes for all that I did to make him happy. I still seek his approval in the things that I do, because I will always be Skip's daughter. His death entered me as unsettling feeling relief. Never did I whale, not because I am not supposed to, but it simply it wasn't there. No where inside did this lye. So, I just have moments that I naively say, "I can't believe he is gone" and let out a few tears. These moments don't last long - usually I am distracted with my own anxious thoughts about cleaning something or cooking something. . . I miss my dad a lot. I miss impromptu excursions to the Delaware service station for a meal at Bob's Big Boy; road trips with the CB radio; our weekly therapy sessions with Dr. Me; the tales of Cousin Hortence and the cancer planted in her mailbox by BIG TONY; and most of all "Heeey" and a big chuckle. He was my dad, my protector and simply knowing that some body thought I was wonderful.

How to Love Neighbors

Neighbors
BEHAVIOUR WITH NEIGHBOR
The Prophet Muhammad (peace be
upon him) said: "He will not enter Paradise whose neighbor is not secure from
his wrongful conduct." - Sahih Muslim, Hadith 15
BE KIND TO YOUR
NEIGHBORS
The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: "If you are kind to
your neighbor, you will be a believer. If you like others to have what you like
for yourself, you will be a Muslim." - Al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 1334
BE GENEROUS
TO YOUR NEIGHBOR
The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: "Whoever
believes in God and the Last Day should be generous to his neighbor." -
Al-Muwatta, Volume 49, Hadith 22
BE A GOOD NEIGHBOR
The Prophet Muhammad
(peace be upon him) said: "If anyone is pleased to love God and His Messenger or
to have God and His Messenger love him, he should speak the truth when he says
anything, fulfill his trust when he is put in a position of authority and be a
good neighbor." - Al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 1289
A man once asked the Prophet:
"How can I know when I do well and when I do ill?" The Prophet replied: "When
you hear your neighbors say you have done well, you have done well; and when you
hear them say you have done ill, you have done ill." - Al-Tirmidhi, Hadith
1288
I wonder if there are conditions or exceptions to these ahadeeth for example:
1. The manly blond across the way with the yalping dalmation who you spotted kissing the female owner of the new Lexus parked in front of your house
2. The neighbor who stands in her doorway topless.
3. The neighbor who accuses you of killing her grass after cutting it and tells other neighbors of your crime, may I add she has dogs that we never see, because she doesn't walk them.
I know the Hadeeth of Umm Jameel and how she threw garbage at the prophet, but an open homesexual, zinaa exhibitionists and well, maybe an animal abuser, do these people fall under the same categories? Insha'Allah may Allah guide these people, myself and insha'Allah grant me the opportunity to make hijrah ameen . . .

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Thursday - Homeschooling the Home Bound

Today, we started very late actually, very late. We didn't get down to business until after 10:30 am (I am not totally sure, because my husband has all the clocks set to different times,) I know it was definately between 10 and 11am.
Quran: Review of Fatiha, Ayatul Kursi, Amannerasool (last two of Baqarah), Suratul Kawthar seal up her pronounciation and a review of Suratul Nasr down to Falaq. Masha'Allah did well.

Phonics: One run through of her letter cards - with vowels she already seems to know "o" and calls "i" dot.
Big Milestone, she finished book one of the Primer for Explode the Code - stickers were awarded, Masha'Allah.

Math: We read Ten, Nine, Eight by Molly Bang. They liked this story a lot, but anything with babies is a winner with my kids.


Games: We went outside to blow bubbles - which resulted in soapy side walks. Once the bubbles were finished, we climbed trees. Ms. Pesa climbed quite high in our sole tree, a dogwood. Ironically, my mom had many photos of me climbing the dogwood at her house. I did my final yeard clean -up. It was sad to pull up my impatients and put them in a yard rubbish bag. I forgot to take a photo of them before they died.

I'd say a good day. I will post later about my neighbors.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

My Henna Debut



A little fuzzy, but this is my first henna design on someone other than myself. The specimen, my husband's little cousin, Tonee (she has accents on the "e.") So, I guess I can stop doodling on my own hands, throw out my henna stencils and go it free hand.

Monday, November 06, 2006

Six Degrees or Less -Finally My Cute Story

I am a bit of a sap when it comes to matters of the heart. I remember crying during Fox and the Hound (my dad couldn't make heads or tails as why I was sobbing after leaving the theatre). And, I am pretty sure, I cried at the end of Sixteen Candles. So, many times, sisters have revealed their stories of how they met their hubbies. I call these "cute stories." One sister told me that her husband had been a constant admirer from across the train tracks during the morning commute. One day, he walked up and handed her a piece of paper with the name and number of a muslim sister (my friend wasn't muslim at the time.) She called the number. The sister gave her dawah, she accepted islam and immediatly had a proposal for marriage, her admirer. Awww! So, I have mentally collected many sister's stories, but wondered about my own, did I have one? I saw my and my husband's union rather ordinary. Until last Spring, I had my ah ha moment. So here it goes, try and keep up.
My father's best friend Chuck, wife's half sister's step-son was married to my husband's ex-wife's ex-husband's older sister . . . Got it. How cute!

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Ninafunga Ninja (I Wear Niqaab)



I can't refuse the opportunity to put my 2 cents in on the veil issue, hey everyone else is!

We don't always come to the veil with hikmah, at least I didn't. My veiled days began about six years ago when I was doing NGO work in East Africa. The first time I wore it was at a ritual stick dance performed during a wedding. Usually, women aren't allowed to watch, but unmarried teenage girls scamper up the limestone walled houses to peek from rooftops in black veils. So, I borrowed one and followed my friends up to the top of the house of Saidi Wadi, a neighbor to watch the display in a sandy clearing between usually inhabited by stray donkeys and shoesless kids. I felt like one of them.

My friend, who usually never put on the veil (that the Swahili ironically call ninja), so she gave it to me to keep. I began wearing it on a part time basis, especially when traveling to the mainland, in the cities and to social events at night. I enjoyed the anonymity of the thing. You see my tiny remote Island off the coast of Kenya, just miles from Mogadishu with no cars was clad with characters, escapees who settled on an island paradise lost in the past. So me being the American Muslim Girl gave me automatic celebrity status amongst the locals. I was even more popular than Princess Caroline of Monaco and her Austrian boyfriend, the Prince of Hanover, who resided around the bend (I am serious). So as the word spread, I had a little following, including a young man who wanted to teach me Kiswa, an enchanting little girl named Fatma and a crazy many who claimed that I stiffed him on a tip for carrying my bags from the airport. And I amused forgot the 20 families who wanted me to come to their homes for lunch. Suddenly my part-time veil became a full-time part of my wardrobe. Ah, it gave me peace to be able to weave through streets without constantly changing course to avoid the banter of onlookers or having to race past Mariam's store, without hearing her say "mwanafunzi (student)," which was her code for come buy something. You see my veiling wasn't a result of any "knowledge" or act of eman. I was just trying to be anonymous.



Once back in the states my veil came off, but not for long. I started teaching at an Islamic school in my home town. I was unmarried, young and . . . In any case, working in a mixed environment caused me to dig out my old veil and work it back into my life, at least between the hours of 8:00am to 3:30pm. Again it was part time, but it sent a clear message to my male co-workers and again allowed me a sense of personal space that I seemed to be denied without it.
By the end of my first year teaching I was married and my veil became a permanent fixture in my life. I officially became known as a niqaabi. Over the years, its styles changed due to function and increased knowledge of proper hijab. I learned a lot of about my veil. But up until a few years ago, my veil was to prevent males form looking in and I never reflected how it affected the one looking out.
Now, here comes the part about good ole' Jack Straw. Mr. Straw's statements that the Islamic veil inhibits communication between it wearer's and its onlookers is probably an opinion shared by most none Muslim's, but never expressed publicly. Due to Mr. Straw's position in the lime-light and readily available access to the media - he was able to beat everyone to the punch. Now, on several occasion people have come close, but never going as far as to state the obvious as did Mr. Straw. Yes, this piece of material is a barrier. You can't see the women's face, her nose, her mouth and expressions. It muffles the voice and it does make communication difficult. On numerous occasions, I have smile at someone and got no response. I can make all kinds of faces, pick my nose and stick out my tongue and the onlooker would have no inclination of the gestures that I had communicated. But that's the point!
And what about the Muslim women that Straw had met with? Why were they there? I mean, I understand that they were meeting with him to discuss community issues, but does the veil inheritantly give the muslim women access to what would normally be haram without it? Do we forget that that it is double sided - its view I mean. The paradox of this piece of fabric isn't just that once tied or snapped we talk loud, mix with men, stare at men and roam about town unaccompanied by our husbands, sons and brothers. I think this is what is missing in the Muslim Veil debate - how is this piece of material a manesfastation of a muslim women's understanding of her religion. Isn't it designed to be a guard for her, as well? It is a reminder of modesty and manners - to lower our gazes, watch what you say, mute your voice and protect yourself from contact with unlawful males. So if these believing women understand their veils - then why are they meeting with Mr. Straw? I read that even after being asked to removed them (to open the lines of communication), some of them did, while others refused. Now, I am not suggesting that muslim should not have a voice, but keep your veils on and follow the examples of the believing women, only through their wisdom will be truly be rewarded for our efforts.
Here are a few examples of evidences from the the Book of Allah and the Sunnah of His Messenger (alahi salatu wa salaam), this was pasted from www.muslimconverts.com. (I cannot vouch for this site, however this piece on niqaab summarized the statements made by Shaykhs, Bin Baaz, Uthaimeen and Fawzan - (May Allah Preserve them) in the book Four Essays on the Obligation of Veiling.
According to Shaikh 'Abdul-'Azeez 'Abdullah bin Baaz and Shaikh Muhammad ibn Saalih Al-'Uthaimeen said that the Niqaab is indeed wajib (compulsory upon the believing women and their argument is strong and convincing, Others such as the Muhaddith of our time Shaikh Muhammad Naasiru-Deen Al-Albaanee said that the Niqaab is not wajib (compulsory) but rather Mustahab (highly recommended) and this argument is also strong and convincing.

Many of the great Ulema of the past have also said that Niqab is fard (compulsory). Therefore the safe option to take is to wear the Niqab. For if you wear it and it was not fard (compulsory). Then you will InshaAllah at least get the reward for practicing something that the Prophet peace be upon him approved of and his wives and the sahabiyat did. And they are the roles models for the women of this Ummah with regards to how a women should dress and behave. So you do not loose out at all if you wear the Niqab.Niqaab is indeed a practice of the Sahabiyaat and the mothers of the believers.

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said: The truth of the matter is that Allaah has made two types of adornment: visible and invisible. It is permissible for a woman to show her visible, outward adornment to people other than her husband and mahrams. Before the verse of hijab was revealed the women used to go out without a jilbaab and the men could see their faces and hands. When it was permissible for a woman to show her face and hands, it was permissible to look at them because it was permissible for a woman to show them.

Then when Allaah revealed the verse of hijab and said (interpretation of the meaning): “O Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks (veils) all over their bodies (i.e. screen themselves completely except the eyes or one eye to see the way). That will be better, that they should be known (as free respectable women) so as not to be annoyed. And Allaah is Ever Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful”[al-Ahzaab 33:59] then the women began to observe hijab in front of men. It was narrated that ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: “May Allaah have mercy on the women of the Muhaajireen. When Allaah revealed the words (interpretation of the meaning)‘and to draw their veils all over Juyoobihinna (i.e. their bodies, faces, necks and bosoms)…”[al-Noor 24:31], they tore their aprons and covered their faces with them.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4480)

The Mufassireen, such as Al-Qurtubi, site in their Tafseer of the Ayah on Jilbaab (Al-Ahzab 33:59) that the Jilbaab is: "a cloth which covers the entire body... Ibn 'Abbaas and 'Ubaidah As-Salmaani said that it is to be fully wrapped around the women's body, so that nothing appears but one eye with which she can see." [Tafseer Al-Qurtubi]. However, aside from this Tafseer, we do in fact have an authentic Hadeeth mentioning Niqaab. The Prophet (peace be upon him ) commanded: "A woman (pilgrim) does not cover her face with a Niqaab (i.e. does not tie or affix) nor should she wear gloves." [Al-Bukharee; Muslim; Saheeh Abi Dawood #1600; authenticated by Al-Albaanee]. Thus, from this authentic Hadeeth, we can clearly see that the Sahabiyaat (RA) were accustomed to covering their faces with Niqaab otherwise, there would not have been any need for the Prophet (peace be upon him) to specifically forbid it during the state of Ihram. Likewise, during Ihram, men are forbidden to cover their heads which shows that outside of being in the state of Ihram they were accustomed to covering their heads, and Allah knows best.

It was narrated that ‘Aa’ishah said: “The riders used to pass by us when we were with the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) in ihraam. When they came near, each of us would lower her jilbaab from her head over her face, and when they passed by we would uncover (our faces).” Narrated by Abu Dawood, 1833; Ahmad, 24067

Sorry for the long post, masalaama.

Friday, November 03, 2006

Trading Spaces . . .

Those sisters who love HGTV - wouldn't you like to give my kid's room a make over?






Those are not smudges on the images, but Art Work . . .
For a better part of the summer and now into the fall we have been planning to re-do the binat's room. So since mid-August, their room has been abandoned and converted to toy and clothing storage and our room has been turned into a dormitory. The slumber party was fun for about a week - until Ms. Mara's started serenading use with her irrational overtures. As soon as the lights go out, she began with the sonatas of sniffling, which progresses to ballads along the lines of "I can't see nobodieee," or "I want to sleep in my bed (my bed)." It doesn't take long for the climax of full fledged whining, squealing and gasping. I call it repressed crying. My hubby can't stand it anymore and she is driving him crazy.
So tomorrow morning we will be taking a family trip to Home Depot to pick out paint (white, but left up to me, lime-green) and supplies. This is my hubby's element. Not only did he used to work there, but used to give Do-it-yourself demonstrations on home painting projects. So I am sure the outing will include a bit of showing off.
One thing, we trying to steer clear of our crazy next door neighbor who works their- who blames my husband for killing her grass - as I overheard her telling someone one morning through the window. Actually, my hubby mowed her grass as a courtesy, because she was mowing it with a manual push mower that was only flattening and selectively cutting some blades. My kids even commented on her lawn - yelling, "what are you doing out the window?" and my step-daughter added, "I think she trying to cut the grass."

Back the room - so I will post the after shots in a few days with new bunk bed and hopefully some curtains, insha'Allah. IKEA, here I come!

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Fight Night! -Put Your Money on the Bent Bint


For couple of

nights I have had a standing appointment with my husband to have a chat about the state of affairs of the Muslims in our house. Monday, I fell asleep. Tuesday, I wasn't feeling like talking and last night would have passed us by, but I forgot to take the chain of the front door, which is an automatic strike in my husband's book. My husband and I come from two different cultures of American Debate - me being accustumed to the MFB (Meeting For Business) style of discussion, "Friend Speeks My Mind", the soft spoken exhanges or SAT verbal ping pong. My Hubby has another approach - which I call the Fred Sanford way or my friend calls the Black -Man-O'saurus style. And, not placing any jugdement on the way he talks- because his way puts the ping-ponging and the brat antics that learned being an only child in check. So, after the whole door thing was explained, we had a chat. Masha'Allah, I think we made some headway and even today, my husband excercised one of our compremises. So, insha'Allah tonight should be good night, bithnillah.

Ummies Have Trantrums Tooo!


For two days, Homeschooling the Home Bound has been a disaster. Ms. Pesa isn't bitting with the Quran. Masha'Allah everthing was going well, until Kafiroon. Now, she can't seem to finish it. So, I have decided to just keep saying it without breaking the Ayat down. She memorized Ayatul Kursi and the last two of Baraqarah without direct instruction, Masha'Allah. But when we sit down, she wants to start an argument with statements like "I don't like that one" or "I don't know how to say it." But when I say okay and get up, she gets even more upset. So which is it binti - do you or don't want to practice Quran? Yesturday, it was so bad that she wouldn't even do her letter cards, which is unusual (as mundane as it sounds she loves to do the cards.)
Today, I had my fill of the crying, whinning and kicking and I blew my top and threw a book across the room. Totally immature of me. I put Ms. Pesa in time out, even though I am the one who needed it and went into the Hamam. My two year old, Ms. Mara's came in asking me, "are you mad momma?" That's soo sad. I am soo sad. I called a sister to get advise, she couldn't talk. Did a search online for help and read a enough to give me a pep-talk. Number 1. ignore the back talk and keep going. The point is to get me to stop the activity that don't like. So my kids had already started playing. Wait . . . they won and I gave in.
So, I turned off the monitor and ask Ms. Pesa if she was ready and surprisingly, she said, "yes." I told her we had ten more minutes. She sat close to me, focused her eyes on my mouth and recited the Surah better than ever . . . we even started Suratul Kawthar. Masha'Allah.
After Quran, the day went as usual. Letter cards with the introduction of the orange cards - the big bad "vowels." Next, Explode the code - letter of the week: R,r. She learned a couple new words: Rocket, Rake and Rabbit (we usually call them bunny rabbits). After, LA we did our Saxon lesson, counting to 5 with bears. Today, the bears were tired and had to sit on chairs (pattern block hexagons). Next puzzles, we tackled the Elephants. Lastly, We walked to the store bought stamps, searched for a mailbox, lunch and nap. Instead of craft, we cooked triffle. What fool invented the combination: pudding, whipped cream and sour creame? Alhamdulillah, the parfaits are for just us - plenty of fingers in the bowl.

Lectures

Aqeeda, Fique, Dawah - click on the link to view flyer.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

People are reading my blog!!!

Thank you everyone who wrote, I just realized that I had comments that were unposted. This blogger thing is a bit of a maze.

Jazak Allahu Khairun

I've Been Tagged!!

Height: vertically Challenged
Color: too many to mention just one
Some like to call me: Anisah, because people can't remember my name
Piercing: Ears
Tattoos: Never
Right nowTime: 6:07pm
Mood: Rushed - trying to finish before I am ambushed by my binats
Tastes: Curry Chicken
Weather: Warm enough to open a window
Bad habit: Throwing the phone while talking to bill collectors
Current crush: my blog
Biggest regret: I have two, I needed to ask my father one question before he passed away and not standing-up to my evil step-mother the unQuakerly Quaker.
Perfume(s): my clothes are saturated with Garlic from dinner
Thing I want to do: Make Hijrah and give my mother her Shahadah
FavoriteTV show: We don't have TV My Co-Wives October 29, 2006
Book: "The People of Hadeeth" By Saboonee
Non alcoholic drink: Stoney Tangawizi - Ginger Soda
Milk drink: strawberry
Brand: The ones that fit
Color: Anthing bright
Emblem:
Perfume: a toss-up between Kenzo, Bukhoor and Somali/Swahili Ounsi/Oudi
Chocolate: Roche
Have I Ever Broken the law: Sad to say, but Mos Definately, yes
Misused credit card: no - but someone else did.
Skipped school: In high school, never a whole day - in college, of course.
Fell asleep in the shower/bath: Never, I can't even fall asleep in my own bed.
Had children: Yes, the binats
Been in love: Not yet, but I pray to Allah everyday that he put love and mercy between us, ameen.
Been hurt: yes
Have a job: Nurse, Manicurist, pedicurist, cook, teacher, therapist, hynee wiper, hair-braider, maid and the list goes on and I am still waiting to get paid.
My CD player has what in it right now: Nothing
If I were a crayon, the color: Lime-green
What makes me happy: It's been so long, I can't remember.
When/What Was the LastI got a real letter: Last week from the Unquakerly Quaker.
Got an email: this morning
Thing I purchased: Toilet paper, a single whole puncher and construction paper.
TV program I watched: It's been a while
Movie I saw in the theaters: Ali - with Wa (Innallahi wa inner rajeeoon)
Hugged: I can't remember the last time my hubby hugged me, but my binti hugged while I was on the potty - I guess her way of showing support.
Place I was an hour ago: The kitchen - on dinner patrol.
Song heard: hold music for bill matrix - some strange saxaphone jungle
Phone call: Mommy
Was depressed: During dinner
What Comes to Mind When I HearCar: boat
Murder: she wrote
Cape: the muppets
Cell: biology
Fun: eid
Shoe: my beat-up dansko clogs
Crush: soda
Music: Stevie -
Love: sigh
I would tag someone, but I know no one reads my blog.