My Co-Wives October 29, 2006

By no means is this post meant to mock polygyny, but more so to make fun myself and how inademnate objects can bring out spousal jealousies.
My husband and I have been married for 5 years this up coming muharam and during that time I have come to realize that I wasn't the only thing that put a twinkle in his eyes. You see when we first married, I thought a healthy muslim marriage surrmounted to cuddling on the sofa reading and reciting Quran together. Of course long walks in parks with crimsonen, yellow and orange leaves falling all around us paving a path of total bliss. And raising muslim children was a like arranging menageriery of little people that had likenesses of all my husband's and my best qualities and that they would innately know how to be delightfuland we would stop and marvel at their wonderfulness. It wasn't long before, I realized that everything that I had imagined was just that, imaginary. I now know that husbands, a least mine have many objects that put a twinkle in his eyes, not just their beautiful wives and children. I call them my co-wives (but they aren't actually people.) Over the years, there have been 3 in total (a least he stays within the limit that is legislated my Allah)
The first arrived shortly after we moved from our small, cramped one bedroom to our two bedroom apartment on the other side of town. Once belonging to someone else, it was a obviosuly well loved. Resembling a low-rider pickup truck with the covered back, painted blue, chiped and cracked. All of its maintenance required special attention - The Hobby shop - for new clothes and parts. Soon, she was given a whole new look with the words Silverado wacrossaccross her sides. But I soon discovered that she wasn't just any kind of companion, but that one that used real GAS? Perfect! I guess if gas in the Subaru wasn't expensive enough! She would go to the masjid, out on the weekends to parks and competitions. We were left at home. All the kids at the masjid all adored her. Their ummies would call ask about my husband's new companion - you mean my knew Co-wife, I would say. Even one time, for her, we were left in the The Hobby Shop parking lot in the July sun, no air, babies crying - I started to drive and soon realized I was being followed by the police. Someone had called and said the kids were left unattended in the car. All for her.
She stayed with his almost two years, until one day on a family outing to the park she flipped over a log or a rock - who cares really what caused the fatel crash, but landed on her back, wheels spinning with exasperation, but going no where. Now she sits above the kitchen on top of the cabinets, out of site, out of mind.

Wife #3
After spending almost 6 months away from home taking care of my dying father - my hubby couldn't wait for me to get home. He kept telling me that their was something in the house he wanted to show me. He said he had redecorated of sorts. I though, oooh, maybe real furniture or one of those Saudi Jelsas I have been drooling over. I openned the door and found that instead of beautiful furniture, a beast was gawking from accross the room. She was huge, 52″ in all directions. And next to her was a stack of disks grotesquenessrostequeness. I don't mean to be nasty about her union with my husband, but trulyne was truely a waste and undoubtedly unhealthy for our family. Because of her, no one could enter my home - that is any muslims. Because of her, my husband became embedded in the sofa. Unable to cut the grass, fix a thingamajig or two, talk, play with the kids, study for school and all sorts of other things. He was in a trance. So, I was determined, she had to go. I mean, she just didn't fit in with our life, what was my husband thinking. So, I put her on craigslist. It read, "Must have big****** to watch the Red Skins Win." Many people replied, but only one came to sit down with her. An Asian man and his wife - he asked questions like, "what brand is RCA?" 0r "why do you want to get rid of it?" He left without her and I thought I was doomed forever. Finally, after 4 months of adds and responses with stupid questions. A frat boy from the university seemed interested. He called with several questions, many of which I didn't know the answer, because during her 6 month visit, I just never took the time to get to know her. Why should I? Finally, he came, "white hat" wearing flip flops in the winter - reckless and spoiled handed me nearly a grand and put her into his surburban. Don't come back again! Alhamdulillah, she was gone!

Wife # 4
While, I was trying to manage the situation with wife #3. My husband already had his eyes on #4. I guess since he already knew that #3 was on her way out that he'd better secure something, before he was awkwardly left alone with just me. At the malls, he often shopped around trying to find something to give him the most time for least amount of money. But finally, after an efficient trip to Sam's Club - he found her and suddenly our visit became inefficient. I saw him read over papers, sign contracts and swipe his cards. I knew this was the beginning of a new infatuation which began almost immediatley. We stopped at the meat market - originally, I sent him inside - he came out and said "why don't you go in and get what you want." While he stood outside gazing into her screen, pushing her buttons and feeling empowered. This is how he is all of the time. In the super market, on family outings to the museum. I mean she does so manythings that I can't imagine him getting board of her, like he does with me. I mean, she plays lectures, the radio (NPR), takes pictures, videos and plays games and she fits in the palm of his hand. I guess maybe I should loose some weight or take up some new entertaining hobbies. Well, so its me and her. He doesn't want me to touch her, so any hopes of us becoming sister-wives are totally out. So as it stand now - together until she brakes.