THE OFFICE

I found this on flickr - my old office in Kenya. Through that tiny door on the right is the gateway to our modest mini-villa. Beyond the door you find a courtyard leading to a maze of buildings, including a guest house, a small guest apartments and houses for your network family. I never could get an acurate count on who really lived below. But I know a meek women named Mwana Aminah was the matriarch on everything on the ground floors and her younger brother Umar was the Chief or Baraza (Kenyans are obbsessed with titles and rubber stamps) who organized everything else.
You would never believe what is hidden behind all that cement. It doesn't look like much, but it is the brain center of several development projects funded by some big name donors. A typical day at work, for one all depends on whether or not the electricity is working. The island is run by diesel engines that break daily. So it has to be rationed. Plus there is not a set schedule, except if a bribe is given you are almost always garanteed lights.
If we had electricity, we would check the emails and print them as quickly as possible, because the lights went out. Forget about internet. We did a lot of siting around and politicing. Most work was done at night on palm covered roof- decks, often under the limited light of a candele (or parafin lamps.)
We had dusty kids running through at any given time, mommies searching? and leaving out with your shoes and strange relationships that were impossible to define. The same goes for my purpose there. However I made myself teaching staff how to type, fix paper jams, taking kids to the doctor, cleaning up wombs, diagnosing ringworm, tutoring school kids, typing, typing, typing, typing and did I say, typing. Alhamdulillah, I was able to organize and partipate two production of community workshops and meet a whole lot of interesting people.
I feel guilty, because once I left, I did a terrible job of keeping touch, which seems odd, because I talk about Kenya soooo much. Insha'Allah, I hope to get back in touch.
I forgot to mention the donkeys!

My Dream Living Room

This is my dream living one of 3 in our http://ghurabiyyah.blogspot.com/2006/12/yeee-haaa.html Ribaa free desert range in the Khaleej. Probably, I would opt for a different color scheme, I live blues and browns with a little bit of gold. Tacky! I have trying to get one here, but the shipping is tres expensive and not worth it. Anyone know a dealer here in the states?

Ohh Stop Your Mess (with a carribean accent)

The Looooow Down

"Sucks to your Asssmaar"

Never will I forget this phrase from our 9th grade study of LOTF (this is what teachers write when they don't feel like writing the name of a book a hundred times a day). This was the first book that I read and learned how to read it analytically using all the catch phrases like allegory, literary illusion, hyperbole, symbolism and foreshadowing.

Since the story took place sometime between WWII and the Vietnam war, what did a chubby asthmatic kid take to control the weezing and caughing? Did they have inhalers or some sort of antiquated version of such? And if you were stranded on a deserted island, Piggy, fat kid, wouldn't he become delerious from a lack of oxygen? Forget about the "beastie" (the pig on the stick) watch out for suffocation.

Why I bring this up, my yearly asthma attack, which usually makes it's debut in November has decided to make an appearence in February. When you have asthma once a year a couple problems arise. 1. your inhalers are always expired. 2. you can't find it. 3. Drs. give you samples, because aren't totally sure you actually have asthma and don't want to commit to a prescription. So, all i have is an emergency only inhaler and I don't feel like paying $20 co-pay to get another. So sucks to my asssmaar!

Stepping Right Along

Alhamdulillah my step-daughter is back. She has decided to call me mommy, which I prefer or some derivative of such. I read my speach to my hubby the one I wrote about in an earlier post and I noticed a stain on his pillow, so I am guessing it went in one ear and leaked out while he during those moonlite hours. So I am bracing myself for STRESS! I didn't want to homeschool everyone, but it looks like that's what is happening (lack of transportation) . So I sucked it up and printed out some work and insha'Allah I will purchase her books next week. She is really behind and needs to be refamiliarized the concept of school work. Why do I always have to be the bad guy?

Where Am I Going?

create your own visited country map


These are the places I have been. I would love to add on to this list, but doubt that will happen anytime soon.

What Did I Expect

Your Depression Level: 76%

You seem to have moderate depression.Your symptoms are bad enough that they're effecting your everyday life.You would benefit greatly from professional help.

Are'>http://www.blogthings.com/areyoudepressedquiz/">Are You Depressed?

Can Someone Tell Me How to Grieve, because I am at a Loss Here!

A few months ago it was the death of Ed. Bradly and this time it was the statement "I can't imagining living in a world that he does not exist," coupled with my grandma's "failing" health (actually she's fine, but thinks she is falling apart.) These are all triggers. I start leaking tears at night or actually anytime. No noise just tears. I have even realized that I am taking on physical systems, such as very temporary carpal tunnel and other inflamatory symptons that lead me to believe that I getting a flu, but it's not. The day before the buriel, I literally couldn't move. I had a high fever, my wrists hurt soo bad that I couldn't use my hands.
I am still in shock. I have even come close to calling him. He's got to be there! But he's not. My mind is stuck on that moment of death. I can't remember him before the cancer and the weightloss. I just remember the look of death. How do I do this? How am I supposed to grieve? No on will let me! Please don't ask me what's wrong, because if you don't already know, then the answer will be "nothing, I'm okay."

Finally Snow

Me and my big bad boots!

Fi bayti Down the block

Sunday

As salamu alaikum
This is a reminder of the weekly class held on Sundays at Masjid Muhiyydeen: If you cannot come out tune into the Masjids room in paltalk: Spread the word so as many people can benefit as possible bi ithnillah.
This weeks topic: The Four Pieces of Advice To the Youth & Elders

Shaikh: Muhsin Abaad (hafidhullah)

Time: 1:00pm Sunday January 21th 2007

Fruggle Fulani

I think I came out the womb fruggle. Don't get confused, I am not mizerly, audhu billah. But since, I was a little girl, I have had a facinating talent for saving money, masha'Allah. I loved the Saturday paper, THE COUPON SECTION. I would use a ruler and tear out coupons and sort them by isle into an evelope. Once we hit the store, I would make a break for it and get items on the list and those with coupons. I remember one time saving my mom nearly $40 at the register.

Now as a wife, mom and muslimah this talent really comes in handy. I hardly clip coupons, because we no longer get the newspaper, but my new thing is "10 4 10" sales. Or, everything is a dollar. This is my way of bulk shopping. I will go early in the morning (sans binats) and fill up m cart with, cans of tuna, frozen veggies (watchout for selected varieties), apple sauce, yogurt and canned veggies.

My other fruggal discovery: Asian Markets. Because this area is swamped with Koreans and Latinos, these markets are everywhere. But they sale, the cheapest produce and fish. Basically, once inside you have left the US. Asian pop-music streams through the air. The smell of fish saturates your nostrals. You here more languages going at one time then ever thought possible. Plus all rules of courtesy have demished and you have to be on surival mode. The seafood is self serve. Tanks of eels, boxes with live crabs and dead fish line the floors. All kinds of products written various asian languages - and you have no idea what is inside. One time, I saw a women put a whole dried fish on the conveyer belt, wrapped in only clear celafaine. But, you can't beat the deals and varieties.

My last discovery: the lantino isle in the regular supermarkets. There are fantastic cans of beans, pasta that is 4 bags for a dollar and value-pack rice.

Another Animal Recipe

I got this recipe from an Indonesian friend.

Add 1/4 cup of ABC Kecap sweet soy sauce to a whole can of unsweetended coconut milk.

Stir in 1/2 to the whole jar of Brinjal relish (by the way is a sweet eggplant relish with spices)

Add water and salt

Throw it and the meat in the Rice Cooker or pressure cooker.

Yummy!

Knodiyyah Comba-niche

The above photo are not my actuall combs, but have a great likeness to the ones that are in my posession. SAD huh! Why do my combs look like this? Well, remember I have a house of girls, who when I am not looking snatch combs off surfaces for doll salon. Doll hair made of yarn! Also, many combs have just vanish. I swear when we move, I will find the comb-stash or at least all the OTHER -socks that are missing. But the other day, I really needed to comb some tangles out and I couldn't find a comb that worked, to save my life. We actually had to make a special outing to Target to buy a comb. I wanted to get maybe 3. There used to be multi-packs, but Target being the special store that it is, my choices were 1 or 10. Hmmm. I bought the 10 and later that night, I sat up in bed with my comb-pack for every occassion and detangled my hair. How sad, I felt like a 6 year with gum in my hair.

Back in Step - Hopefully Forward

If anyone hasn't noticed . . . my blog has been a bit of an event calender for duroos . . . They are easy to put up. Cut, paste and publish. But i do have something on my mind that I have been avoiding . . . after six months, my oldest bint, Ms. Mofsa, who has been overseas with her Umm is coming back, insha'Allah. I love her dearly and I have invested a lot in developing our relationship, but "blended families are hard." I put this in quotes, because my friend always reminds me of this fact.
Some people say when the "blend" is done early in the child's life it's easier. The child get used to the step-mom, being away from Mom and going back and forth. But this works, but the parents have to want it to work. But there have been so many schedule changes, moves and rules that I think between she and I (my Mofsah) we were becoming batty. By the time she left in August, she and I were sort at odds, for no reason other than, we both wanted, needed stability. Also, as a result the little'un were suffering as well.
I will welcome her back with open arms, but with a new plateform. Which I will present to her father soon, when I get my nerve up . . . I am borrowed this from my friend (another step-umm). This is how it goes . . .
Mofsah is six and now that she is in school (home school/islamic school not decided yet) she needs a stable environment so that she can concentrate on her education and development. This means that she needs to reside in one home and visit her other family on weekends (maybe not every') and on holidays. This is not a plot to keep her away from (her mom or dad), but to provide her with a sense of security, so that she isn't always being caught in the shuffle of adjusting to different environments all the time. Yes, it will be difficult for her to be away from (a parent), but she has been away from a least one parent several times and has coped. But remember in this home she has a father, a step-mom, siblings and extended family that love her as does she have a mom, step-father, siblings and extended family that love her. So she will be in a nuturing environment no-matter whose house she lives in permenantly. Of course the ideal situation is for a child to live with both birth parents, but since that isn't an option this is the next best thing.
How does that sound?
Make dua for me, please!

Lectures

As salaamu alaikum Maktabat UsSunnah pubs is proud to inform you of the opening of our new room on Paltalk.

Located in the category Religion & Theology and then in the folderIslaam.Our schedual for this week ===>>

1. Saturday at 1:00 - 2:30pm Topic: TheLife Of Shaikh Bin Baaz (rahimahullah) By shaikh Muhsin Abaad(hafidahullah) Also ===>>
3. The Rights Of the Pathways By: Shaikh AbdulAzeez Ali Shaikh (The Mufti Of Saudi Arabia)

The room will be open weekly Inshallah and we will keep you informedof the schedule.

Unification Upon Tawheed

By:Shaykh Salih al Fawzaan (hafidhahullaah)------------------------------------------------------------The Word Of The Muslims Will Not Unite Except By AT-TAWHEED------------------------------------------------------------This is the foundation, and this is the origin, and this is the mainprincipal; so how can we turn away from this affair (uniting upon at-Tawheed) and be careless concerning it, and hold the one who callsto it as being in error? And you will find one who says that thiscall (to uniting upon at-Tawheed) separates the Muslims. No!!!,rather this gathers the word of the Muslims, because the word of theMuslims does not find harmony except for through at-Tawheed; and youwill not find peace, or safety and stability except threw at-Tawheed. Allaah Glorified be He and Most High Says in His NobleBook,"And He will surely give them in exchange a safe security aftertheir fear (provided) they (believers) worship Me and do notassociate anything (in worship) with Me."Verily, you can reach this mighty goal through worshipping Allaahsolely (not joining partners with Him or holding any one to be Hisequal).So the word of the ummah (body of Muslims) and it is not possibleto build a nation except for with the word of at-Tawheed, and uponthe 'aqeedah (belief) of pure Tawheed. However, if shirk(associating partners with Allaah) enters and bid'ah (innovation)and superstitions spread and it says, "leave the people free topractice there beliefs overlook their deviant practices, `do not runthem away'",from here comes the separation and division, and theentrance for shaytaan (to come between the ranks of the Muslims,then separate their body), as is our current state. And I will bringfor you an example from this country (Saudi Arabia). Where beforethe da'wah (call) of the Shaykh Muhammad Ibn 'Abdul Wahhaab(rahimahullaah) came the country you know as Saudi Arabia was upongreat division. Every tribe had its own Amir (chief) and law, andevery tribe fought against the other. History mentions that peoplein different tribes shed the blood of one another due to thedifferences between them (every side from each tribe raged waragainst the other), and the defeated tribe would have theirpossessions stolen. Senseless killing and bloodshed, every tribehaving a ruler, each not willing to humble oneself to the other; andwhen Allaah sent this blessed da'wah upon the hand of the piousscholar (the rectifier of affairs), the country became one and fellunder one leader, and in turn established an Islaamic State upon theDeen of at-Tawheed and has remained this way. All praises are forAllaah as this took place, because it established its foundationupon at-Tawheed, but before at-Tawheed was established in thecountry it was divided, and the natives sought blessings from treesand stones etc… Soorah An-Nur (24):55--------------------------Translated from A-Hamiyyah at Tawheed by: Dr. Shaykh Salih alFawzaan (hafidhahullaah) pg 33

Cooking The Animal

Lamb and I have not had the best of friendships. Especially since, I was a veggie for nearly 6 years and not so kean on meat as a whole nearly my whole childhood. And if I was going to eat it a meat, it definatly couldn't have a bone or really look as though it belonged to an animal. Americans don't really care for lamb all that much. We are chicken, beef than pork consumers.

After living in Africa and becoming muslim, I had to give up my veggie ways, for meat becomes a major focus of community life. In Africa you can't attend a wedding, visit someone's home, go to an Aqeekah or enjoy a meal with anyone without eating meat. In philly, amongst the African American converts, it wasn't so much lamb, but party wings (wangs) or fried chicken this was the usual iftar and halaqah fare. In the DC metro, the influx of Indopak/Morrocan, Egyptian, Somalies brings back the love of the BAAAAAA in all social life. So we eat lamb. Not just at home, the masjid or at a friends house, but we actually order it at restaurants. So, I have had lamb burgers, lamb cheese steaks, lamb kababs and lamb curries.

But me preparing lamb, well that is a whole 'nother story. Bringing the meat into the house, separating it into bags and cleaning up after is like, major for me. All my senses are clued into the fact that only a day ago was this mass once alive, eating, pooping and wallowing in muddy hay. I am not one of those people who hug trees or nor am I trying to save any whales, but I simply am not a meat person. I hate the way it feels, smells and all the steps it takes to make it food. For example with lamb, it has all these slimy impossible membranes of fat and tissue that have to be snipped and removed. Surgery. If I get lazy, the dish ends up with all these chewy bits that make me gag. Lamb for some reason is extra bloody, so I have to wash it like a zillion times, with vinegar and salt.

Now cooking . . . ummm, ahhhh, yikes! My husband hates tough meat. If it's chicken, it has to be coming off the bone and lamb has to be juicy and basically melt in your mouth. A bit tough to live up too. For 5 years, I have agonized over how to cook lamb, good enough that he actually will eat it. Finally, I have figured it out.:

The Marinate: I blend garlic, adobo, cilantro, lemon juice, some Shan seasoning, Chipotle pepers in adobo sauce, olive oil, honey and salt in the blennder. I let the lamb marinate for at least 1 hr in the fridge.

Cooking: I throw the lamb and as much juice in my RICE COOKER, yes I said rice cooker for 1 hr. Viola, I get super tender lamb. Once it's cooked, I can then add it to a curry, bake it with more sauce or eat it as is with veggies and rice.

pheeew!

Solving Marital Conflict

The Markaz of Muhammad Ibn Abdul Wahhab Information and Research Center

Presents:

The first in our series of translated articles from our Scholars of Ahlus Sunnati Wal-Jama'ah.

Titled: "Questions on Marriage" By Shaykh Mashhoor Salmaan (one of the students of Shaykh Al-Albanni)
Translated by: Hisham Assing


Question: What is the best way to solve marital problems?
Answer: It is not possible to solve marital problems except that a man understands that his wife is weak. Or that Allaah settles that which occurs between them with regards to their differences. The issue is not that the husband is always correct, and if the wife is correct and the husband is incorrect, then this erodes his masculinity or his authority, no.
"And in whatsoever you differ, the decision thereof is with Allaah." (Ash-Shuraa: 10)
"But no, by your Lord, they can have no Faith, until they make you a judge in all disputes between them, and find in themselves no resistance against your decisions, and accept (them) with full submission." (An-Nisaa': 65)
"And if you differ in anything amongst yourselves, refer it to Allaah and His Messenger, if you believe in Allaah and in the Last Day." (An-Nisaa': 59)
The premise of of husband is that he should some fiqh, and that he knows when an how to solve matters. It is quite possible that problems can occur in the house. So since the man is one who has the authority he should remain calm until these problems are resolved. Thereafter he should use his wisdom, masculinity, and counsel. What is always blameworthy is harsh, severe interactions. I would inform you of something that I hope Allaah would make it a benefit for us all;
The secret to a husband being successful in his interactions with his wife is for him to compensate for her weakness. A woman is weak and emotional. Hence, if you want to make her a happy wife then make amends that is in accordance with her weakness, and always make her feel that you are in constant need of her and you cannot do without her. Fulfill her emotional needs, comfort her feelings. When the Prophet ( Õáì Çááå Úáíå æÓáã) informed us that the woman is "Deficient in her intelligence." 1 , he did not meant it to be a belittlement of women, however what he was illustrating to us is how to deal with a woman. The most miserable man is the one who whenever a dispute occurs between him and his wife he says to her, "let's leave off emotions and deal with the issue based on intelligence." What does it mean that she is "Deficient in her intelligence?" That is, her intelligence is deficient in comparison to her emotions, for her emotions are very strong. So you men are deficient in emotions. You have full intellect because intelligence is something that is relative. The woman is deficient in her intelligence and the man is deficient in his emotions. So Allaah created males with faculties that suits his being and He created females with faculties that suits her nature. This is why both spouses would not obtain amicability until they both return to the deen of Allaah, and that they both know their rights in the deen of Allaah.
So therefore whenever there occurs problems between you all and you want to advise your wife, the most important thing is that you first of all sympathise with her feelings and emotions until she becomes calm, then you begin to counsel. How easy can a woman be. At the same time how complicated is she! Because her emotions are ever changing. And from the mercy of our Lord to the woman is that He made her heart ever changing, whereby if she is divorced, the second husband becomes the most beloved, and if he dies the and remarries, the third is the most beloved to her, and this is in accordance with the legislation of Allaah.
A woman would be just fine with her father, however by seeing that particular man once, she forgets about her father, her brother...and then you become her priority. So fulfill her emotional needs and you will find peace and relaxation.
Husbands make certain mistakes, and one of the most serious mistakes they make is that they treat their wives like how they treat another man, or they speak to them as they speak to their mothers or sisters; this is wrong. The wife is a creation that is weak and you were also created weak, "And man was created weak." What surah is this ayah mentioned? An-Nisaa'. And what context did it come? The man's necessity for a woman. You are in need of her, you're weak because desires within men are strong. So you compensate your weakness through her, and therefore let her compensate for her weakness through you. And should never forget to offer her words of advice her because husbands are either neglectful, unconcerned with the affairs of their wives whereby they let them do whatever they want by failing to command or prohibit them, or they are harsh and extreme whereby all they do is complain, criticize, find fault, and compare their wives with other pretty women, especially if they watch cable, this is an affliction. Be contended with what Allaah has provided for you as this is your choice, and I think by these words of advice a husband can correctly guide his wife.
(Transcribed from the weekly Question and Answer session by Shaykh Mashhoor Salmaan: 11/25/06)
1 Al-Bukhaaree (hadeeth nos. 294)

HUNNNGRAY 4 Knowledge!

My dua's were answered! At sundown, Eid will be officially over and I will have avoided Chuck E Cheeses. Alhamdulillah, I we didn't go anywhere that forced me (the only only niqabi) to sit in the corner while the rest of the muslim mixed freely (men and women) so that my kids could bounce themselves silly in some Moon Bounce.

As usual we prayed with our community - I got to see all the new babies, hug the sisters that live only minutes away, but I only see from Eid to Eid and eat a donut. After salaat we treked out to the sticks to slaughter. This is was a blessing, because we haven't been able to do so in years. The kids enjoyed running around in the pen with the other kids, rolling in mud/manure. The sisters sat in a tent talked, foreced me to eat liver, drink tea and just enjoyed one another. Masha'Allah I learn so much from my foreign sisters.

We hauled back north to have the meat cut up even further at the butcher and took a sharwama break in a Lebanese cafe. Everyone was watching soccer on TV.

We ended the day with an appearance at the Sister's party. Of course I had a melt down getting dressed. What to wear? Masha'Allah the sisters were lovely. We played Q and A, my team was Hungraaay 5 Knowledge, we answered move of the questions correctly, but still lost, because one question was worth 3,000 points. Masha'Allah I am happy for the sisters that won after only getting one question right. Masha'Allah. I am not bitter or anything.

Yesturday, I divided the meat and cooked. We had company over - I always struggle with entertaining sisters who openly choose to ignore/disobey some serious no no's of this deen. What do you say? How do you keep the conversation going? May Allah guide us, Ameen.

Today, we are going to pass out meat to friends and just lay low.