Gharabah (stranger)

Mooving

2007-02-05T13:11:00.000-08:00

Find me here . . . http://ummbinat.wordpress.com/
Peeeaaace!

Let's Get A Shura On This

2007-02-03T15:32:00.000-08:00

Hands up if you have noticed that my blog seems unfocus, morbid and a bit self obsorbed. Okay, 1, umm 2, 3, okay everyone put your hands down. Why am I all of a sudden being so meloncholy? Everybody who knows me . . . knows that I am usually off-beat in a quirky weird kind of way, masha'Allah? I hope that is good. It's really not in my nature to think so much about myself and usually, I am all about the kids, house, hubby and friends. So, I am working on getting back the old me. I think, I met start using my old blog again on wordpress. The only reason I stayed here, well, because I was enjoying the whole polygyny world, corralled by mizazeez. Now that she's gone and rest of the gang has either stopped blogging or stopped resolving, I think I must go.
So new focuses my physical health/weightloss and old focus homeschooling the home bound.

Later Skater!

Behind Bars

2007-02-02T20:35:00.000-08:00

Today a friend told me this arabic phrase:

This life is like a prison and we will not be free until we reached Jannah and for the Kuffar this life is their Jannah and hearafter will be their prison.

She is right. I have to stop being angry and hurt. I need to learn to welcome the trials, embrace them and see them as opportunities. Than . . . I will find saabir and peace.

THE OFFICE

2007-01-31T11:17:00.000-08:00

I found this on flickr - my old office in Kenya. Through that tiny door on the right is the gateway to our modest mini-villa. Beyond the door you find a courtyard leading to a maze of buildings, including a guest house, a small guest apartments and houses for your network family. I never could get an acurate count on who really lived below. But I know a meek women named Mwana Aminah was the matriarch on everything on the ground floors and her younger brother Umar was the Chief or Baraza (Kenyans are obbsessed with titles and rubber stamps) who organized everything else.
You would never believe what is hidden behind all that cement. It doesn't look like much, but it is the brain center of several development projects funded by some big name donors. A typical day at work, for one all depends on whether or not the electricity is working. The island is run by diesel engines that break daily. So it has to be rationed. Plus there is not a set schedule, except if a bribe is given you are almost always garanteed lights.
If we had electricity, we would check the emails and print them as quickly as possible, because the lights went out. Forget about internet. We did a lot of siting around and politicing. Most work was done at night on palm covered roof- decks, often under the limited light of a candele (or parafin lamps.)
We had dusty kids running through at any given time, mommies searching? and leaving out with your shoes and strange relationships that were impossible to define. The same goes for my purpose there. However I made myself teaching staff how to type, fix paper jams, taking kids to the doctor, cleaning up wombs, diagnosing ringworm, tutoring school kids, typing, typing, typing, typing and did I say, typing. Alhamdulillah, I was able to organize and partipate two production of community workshops and meet a whole lot of interesting people.
I feel guilty, because once I left, I did a terrible job of keeping touch, which seems odd, because I talk about Kenya soooo much. Insha'Allah, I hope to get back in touch.
I forgot to mention the donkeys!

My Dream Living Room

2007-01-31T06:09:00.000-08:00

This is my dream living one of 3 in our http://ghurabiyyah.blogspot.com/2006/12/yeee-haaa.html Ribaa free desert range in the Khaleej. Probably, I would opt for a different color scheme, I live blues and browns with a little bit of gold. Tacky! I have trying to get one here, but the shipping is tres expensive and not worth it. Anyone know a dealer here in the states?

Ohh Stop Your Mess (with a carribean accent)

2007-01-29T11:08:00.000-08:00

The Looooow Down

"Sucks to your Asssmaar"

Never will I forget this phrase from our 9th grade study of LOTF (this is what teachers write when they don't feel like writing the name of a book a hundred times a day). This was the first book that I read and learned how to read it analytically using all the catch phrases like allegory, literary illusion, hyperbole, symbolism and foreshadowing.

Since the story took place sometime between WWII and the Vietnam war, what did a chubby asthmatic kid take to control the weezing and caughing? Did they have inhalers or some sort of antiquated version of such? And if you were stranded on a deserted island, Piggy, fat kid, wouldn't he become delerious from a lack of oxygen? Forget about the "beastie" (the pig on the stick) watch out for suffocation.

Why I bring this up, my yearly asthma attack, which usually makes it's debut in November has decided to make an appearence in February. When you have asthma once a year a couple problems arise. 1. your inhalers are always expired. 2. you can't find it. 3. Drs. give you samples, because aren't totally sure you actually have asthma and don't want to commit to a prescription. So, all i have is an emergency only inhaler and I don't feel like paying $20 co-pay to get another. So sucks to my asssmaar!

Stepping Right Along

Alhamdulillah my step-daughter is back. She has decided to call me mommy, which I prefer or some derivative of such. I read my speach to my hubby the one I wrote about in an earlier post and I noticed a stain on his pillow, so I am guessing it went in one ear and leaked out while he during those moonlite hours. So I am bracing myself for STRESS! I didn't want to homeschool everyone, but it looks like that's what is happening (lack of transportation) . So I sucked it up and printed out some work and insha'Allah I will purchase her books next week. She is really behind and needs to be refamiliarized the concept of school work. Why do I always have to be the bad guy?

Where Am I Going?

2007-01-26T10:48:00.000-08:00

create your own visited country map

These are the places I have been. I would love to add on to this list, but doubt that will happen anytime soon.

What Did I Expect

2007-01-25T10:27:00.000-08:00

Your Depression Level: 76%

You seem to have moderate depression.Your symptoms are bad enough that they're effecting your everyday life.You would benefit greatly from professional help.

Are'>http://www.blogthings.com/areyoudepressedquiz/">Are You Depressed?

Can Someone Tell Me How to Grieve, because I am at a Loss Here!

2007-01-24T11:05:00.000-08:00

A few months ago it was the death of Ed. Bradly and this time it was the statement "I can't imagining living in a world that he does not exist," coupled with my grandma's "failing" health (actually she's fine, but thinks she is falling apart.) These are all triggers. I start leaking tears at night or actually anytime. No noise just tears. I have even realized that I am taking on physical systems, such as very temporary carpal tunnel and other inflamatory symptons that lead me to believe that I getting a flu, but it's not. The day before the buriel, I literally couldn't move. I had a high fever, my wrists hurt soo bad that I couldn't use my hands.
I am still in shock. I have even come close to calling him. He's got to be there! But he's not. My mind is stuck on that moment of death. I can't remember him before the cancer and the weightloss. I just remember the look of death. How do I do this? How am I supposed to grieve? No on will let me! Please don't ask me what's wrong, because if you don't already know, then the answer will be "nothing, I'm okay."

Finally Snow

2007-01-22T09:33:00.000-08:00

Me and my big bad boots!

Fi bayti Down the block

Sunday

2007-01-18T12:41:00.000-08:00

As salamu alaikum
This is a reminder of the weekly class held on Sundays at Masjid Muhiyydeen: If you cannot come out tune into the Masjids room in paltalk: Spread the word so as many people can benefit as possible bi ithnillah.
This weeks topic: The Four Pieces of Advice To the Youth & Elders

Shaikh: Muhsin Abaad (hafidhullah)

Time: 1:00pm Sunday January 21th 2007

Fruggle Fulani

2007-01-17T10:57:00.000-08:00

I think I came out the womb fruggle. Don't get confused, I am not mizerly, audhu billah. But since, I was a little girl, I have had a facinating talent for saving money, masha'Allah. I loved the Saturday paper, THE COUPON SECTION. I would use a ruler and tear out coupons and sort them by isle into an evelope. Once we hit the store, I would make a break for it and get items on the list and those with coupons. I remember one time saving my mom nearly $40 at the register.

Now as a wife, mom and muslimah this talent really comes in handy. I hardly clip coupons, because we no longer get the newspaper, but my new thing is "10 4 10" sales. Or, everything is a dollar. This is my way of bulk shopping. I will go early in the morning (sans binats) and fill up m cart with, cans of tuna, frozen veggies (watchout for selected varieties), apple sauce, yogurt and canned veggies.

My other fruggal discovery: Asian Markets. Because this area is swamped with Koreans and Latinos, these markets are everywhere. But they sale, the cheapest produce and fish. Basically, once inside you have left the US. Asian pop-music streams through the air. The smell of fish saturates your nostrals. You here more languages going at one time then ever thought possible. Plus all rules of courtesy have demished and you have to be on surival mode. The seafood is self serve. Tanks of eels, boxes with live crabs and dead fish line the floors. All kinds of products written various asian languages - and you have no idea what is inside. One time, I saw a women put a whole dried fish on the conveyer belt, wrapped in only clear celafaine. But, you can't beat the deals and varieties.

My last discovery: the lantino isle in the regular supermarkets. There are fantastic cans of beans, pasta that is 4 bags for a dollar and value-pack rice.

Another Animal Recipe

2007-01-16T11:27:00.000-08:00

I got this recipe from an Indonesian friend.

Add 1/4 cup of ABC Kecap sweet soy sauce to a whole can of unsweetended coconut milk.

Stir in 1/2 to the whole jar of Brinjal relish (by the way is a sweet eggplant relish with spices)

Add water and salt

Throw it and the meat in the Rice Cooker or pressure cooker.

Yummy!

Knodiyyah Comba-niche

2007-01-16T11:02:00.000-08:00

The above photo are not my actuall combs, but have a great likeness to the ones that are in my posession. SAD huh! Why do my combs look like this? Well, remember I have a house of girls, who when I am not looking snatch combs off surfaces for doll salon. Doll hair made of yarn! Also, many combs have just vanish. I swear when we move, I will find the comb-stash or at least all the OTHER -socks that are missing. But the other day, I really needed to comb some tangles out and I couldn't find a comb that worked, to save my life. We actually had to make a special outing to Target to buy a comb. I wanted to get maybe 3. There used to be multi-packs, but Target being the special store that it is, my choices were 1 or 10. Hmmm. I bought the 10 and later that night, I sat up in bed with my comb-pack for every occassion and detangled my hair. How sad, I felt like a 6 year with gum in my hair.

Back in Step - Hopefully Forward

2007-01-15T12:58:00.000-08:00

If anyone hasn't noticed . . . my blog has been a bit of an event calender for duroos . . . They are easy to put up. Cut, paste and publish. But i do have something on my mind that I have been avoiding . . . after six months, my oldest bint, Ms. Mofsa, who has been overseas with her Umm is coming back, insha'Allah. I love her dearly and I have invested a lot in developing our relationship, but "blended families are hard." I put this in quotes, because my friend always reminds me of this fact.
Some people say when the "blend" is done early in the child's life it's easier. The child get used to the step-mom, being away from Mom and going back and forth. But this works, but the parents have to want it to work. But there have been so many schedule changes, moves and rules that I think between she and I (my Mofsah) we were becoming batty. By the time she left in August, she and I were sort at odds, for no reason other than, we both wanted, needed stability. Also, as a result the little'un were suffering as well.
I will welcome her back with open arms, but with a new plateform. Which I will present to her father soon, when I get my nerve up . . . I am borrowed this from my friend (another step-umm). This is how it goes . . .
Mofsah is six and now that she is in school (home school/islamic school not decided yet) she needs a stable environment so that she can concentrate on her education and development. This means that she needs to reside in one home and visit her other family on weekends (maybe not every') and on holidays. This is not a plot to keep her away from (her mom or dad), but to provide her with a sense of security, so that she isn't always being caught in the shuffle of adjusting to different environments all the time. Yes, it will be difficult for her to be away from (a parent), but she has been away from a least one parent several times and has coped. But remember in this home she has a father, a step-mom, siblings and extended family that love her as does she have a mom, step-father, siblings and extended family that love her. So she will be in a nuturing environment no-matter whose house she lives in permenantly. Of course the ideal situation is for a child to live with both birth parents, but since that isn't an option this is the next best thing.
How does that sound?
Make dua for me, please!

Lectures

2007-01-09T17:25:00.000-08:00

As salaamu alaikum Maktabat UsSunnah pubs is proud to inform you of the opening of our new room on Paltalk.

Located in the category Religion & Theology and then in the folderIslaam.Our schedual for this week ===>>

Saturday at 1:00 - 2:30pm Topic: TheLife Of Shaikh Bin Baaz (rahimahullah) By shaikh Muhsin Abaad(hafidahullah) Also ===>>
The Rights Of the Pathways By: Shaikh AbdulAzeez Ali Shaikh (The Mufti Of Saudi Arabia)

The room will be open weekly Inshallah and we will keep you informedof the schedule.

Unification Upon Tawheed

2007-01-09T17:23:00.000-08:00

By:Shaykh Salih al Fawzaan (hafidhahullaah)------------------------------------------------------------The Word Of The Muslims Will Not Unite Except By AT-TAWHEED------------------------------------------------------------This is the foundation, and this is the origin, and this is the mainprincipal; so how can we turn away from this affair (uniting upon at-Tawheed) and be careless concerning it, and hold the one who callsto it as being in error? And you will find one who says that thiscall (to uniting upon at-Tawheed) separates the Muslims. No!!!,rather this gathers the word of the Muslims, because the word of theMuslims does not find harmony except for through at-Tawheed; and youwill not find peace, or safety and stability except threw at-Tawheed. Allaah Glorified be He and Most High Says in His NobleBook,"And He will surely give them in exchange a safe security aftertheir fear (provided) they (believers) worship Me and do notassociate anything (in worship) with Me."Verily, you can reach this mighty goal through worshipping Allaahsolely (not joining partners with Him or holding any one to be Hisequal).So the word of the ummah (body of Muslims) and it is not possibleto build a nation except for with the word of at-Tawheed, and uponthe 'aqeedah (belief) of pure Tawheed. However, if shirk(associating partners with Allaah) enters and bid'ah (innovation)and superstitions spread and it says, "leave the people free topractice there beliefs overlook their deviant practices, `do not runthem away'",from here comes the separation and division, and theentrance for shaytaan (to come between the ranks of the Muslims,then separate their body), as is our current state. And I will bringfor you an example from this country (Saudi Arabia). Where beforethe da'wah (call) of the Shaykh Muhammad Ibn 'Abdul Wahhaab(rahimahullaah) came the country you know as Saudi Arabia was upongreat division. Every tribe had its own Amir (chief) and law, andevery tribe fought against the other. History mentions that peoplein different tribes shed the blood of one another due to thedifferences between them (every side from each tribe raged waragainst the other), and the defeated tribe would have theirpossessions stolen. Senseless killing and bloodshed, every tribehaving a ruler, each not willing to humble oneself to the other; andwhen Allaah sent this blessed da'wah upon the hand of the piousscholar (the rectifier of affairs), the country became one and fellunder one leader, and in turn established an Islaamic State upon theDeen of at-Tawheed and has remained this way. All praises are forAllaah as this took place, because it established its foundationupon at-Tawheed, but before at-Tawheed was established in thecountry it was divided, and the natives sought blessings from treesand stones etc… Soorah An-Nur (24):55--------------------------Translated from A-Hamiyyah at Tawheed by: Dr. Shaykh Salih alFawzaan (hafidhahullaah) pg 33

Cooking The Animal

2007-01-08T10:09:00.000-08:00

Lamb and I have not had the best of friendships. Especially since, I was a veggie for nearly 6 years and not so kean on meat as a whole nearly my whole childhood. And if I was going to eat it a meat, it definatly couldn't have a bone or really look as though it belonged to an animal. Americans don't really care for lamb all that much. We are chicken, beef than pork consumers.

After living in Africa and becoming muslim, I had to give up my veggie ways, for meat becomes a major focus of community life. In Africa you can't attend a wedding, visit someone's home, go to an Aqeekah or enjoy a meal with anyone without eating meat. In philly, amongst the African American converts, it wasn't so much lamb, but party wings (wangs) or fried chicken this was the usual iftar and halaqah fare. In the DC metro, the influx of Indopak/Morrocan, Egyptian, Somalies brings back the love of the BAAAAAA in all social life. So we eat lamb. Not just at home, the masjid or at a friends house, but we actually order it at restaurants. So, I have had lamb burgers, lamb cheese steaks, lamb kababs and lamb curries.

But me preparing lamb, well that is a whole 'nother story. Bringing the meat into the house, separating it into bags and cleaning up after is like, major for me. All my senses are clued into the fact that only a day ago was this mass once alive, eating, pooping and wallowing in muddy hay. I am not one of those people who hug trees or nor am I trying to save any whales, but I simply am not a meat person. I hate the way it feels, smells and all the steps it takes to make it food. For example with lamb, it has all these slimy impossible membranes of fat and tissue that have to be snipped and removed. Surgery. If I get lazy, the dish ends up with all these chewy bits that make me gag. Lamb for some reason is extra bloody, so I have to wash it like a zillion times, with vinegar and salt.

Now cooking . . . ummm, ahhhh, yikes! My husband hates tough meat. If it's chicken, it has to be coming off the bone and lamb has to be juicy and basically melt in your mouth. A bit tough to live up too. For 5 years, I have agonized over how to cook lamb, good enough that he actually will eat it. Finally, I have figured it out.:

The Marinate: I blend garlic, adobo, cilantro, lemon juice, some Shan seasoning, Chipotle pepers in adobo sauce, olive oil, honey and salt in the blennder. I let the lamb marinate for at least 1 hr in the fridge.

Cooking: I throw the lamb and as much juice in my RICE COOKER, yes I said rice cooker for 1 hr. Viola, I get super tender lamb. Once it's cooked, I can then add it to a curry, bake it with more sauce or eat it as is with veggies and rice.

pheeew!

Solving Marital Conflict

2007-01-04T17:23:00.000-08:00

The Markaz of Muhammad Ibn Abdul Wahhab Information and Research Center

Presents:

The first in our series of translated articles from our Scholars of Ahlus Sunnati Wal-Jama'ah.

Titled: "Questions on Marriage" By Shaykh Mashhoor Salmaan (one of the students of Shaykh Al-Albanni)
Translated by: Hisham Assing

Question: What is the best way to solve marital problems?
Answer: It is not possible to solve marital problems except that a man understands that his wife is weak. Or that Allaah settles that which occurs between them with regards to their differences. The issue is not that the husband is always correct, and if the wife is correct and the husband is incorrect, then this erodes his masculinity or his authority, no.
"And in whatsoever you differ, the decision thereof is with Allaah." (Ash-Shuraa: 10)
"But no, by your Lord, they can have no Faith, until they make you a judge in all disputes between them, and find in themselves no resistance against your decisions, and accept (them) with full submission." (An-Nisaa': 65)
"And if you differ in anything amongst yourselves, refer it to Allaah and His Messenger, if you believe in Allaah and in the Last Day." (An-Nisaa': 59)
The premise of of husband is that he should some fiqh, and that he knows when an how to solve matters. It is quite possible that problems can occur in the house. So since the man is one who has the authority he should remain calm until these problems are resolved. Thereafter he should use his wisdom, masculinity, and counsel. What is always blameworthy is harsh, severe interactions. I would inform you of something that I hope Allaah would make it a benefit for us all;
The secret to a husband being successful in his interactions with his wife is for him to compensate for her weakness. A woman is weak and emotional. Hence, if you want to make her a happy wife then make amends that is in accordance with her weakness, and always make her feel that you are in constant need of her and you cannot do without her. Fulfill her emotional needs, comfort her feelings. When the Prophet ( Õáì Çááå Úáíå æÓáã) informed us that the woman is "Deficient in her intelligence." 1 , he did not meant it to be a belittlement of women, however what he was illustrating to us is how to deal with a woman. The most miserable man is the one who whenever a dispute occurs between him and his wife he says to her, "let's leave off emotions and deal with the issue based on intelligence." What does it mean that she is "Deficient in her intelligence?" That is, her intelligence is deficient in comparison to her emotions, for her emotions are very strong. So you men are deficient in emotions. You have full intellect because intelligence is something that is relative. The woman is deficient in her intelligence and the man is deficient in his emotions. So Allaah created males with faculties that suits his being and He created females with faculties that suits her nature. This is why both spouses would not obtain amicability until they both return to the deen of Allaah, and that they both know their rights in the deen of Allaah.
So therefore whenever there occurs problems between you all and you want to advise your wife, the most important thing is that you first of all sympathise with her feelings and emotions until she becomes calm, then you begin to counsel. How easy can a woman be. At the same time how complicated is she! Because her emotions are ever changing. And from the mercy of our Lord to the woman is that He made her heart ever changing, whereby if she is divorced, the second husband becomes the most beloved, and if he dies the and remarries, the third is the most beloved to her, and this is in accordance with the legislation of Allaah.
A woman would be just fine with her father, however by seeing that particular man once, she forgets about her father, her brother...and then you become her priority. So fulfill her emotional needs and you will find peace and relaxation.
Husbands make certain mistakes, and one of the most serious mistakes they make is that they treat their wives like how they treat another man, or they speak to them as they speak to their mothers or sisters; this is wrong. The wife is a creation that is weak and you were also created weak, "And man was created weak." What surah is this ayah mentioned? An-Nisaa'. And what context did it come? The man's necessity for a woman. You are in need of her, you're weak because desires within men are strong. So you compensate your weakness through her, and therefore let her compensate for her weakness through you. And should never forget to offer her words of advice her because husbands are either neglectful, unconcerned with the affairs of their wives whereby they let them do whatever they want by failing to command or prohibit them, or they are harsh and extreme whereby all they do is complain, criticize, find fault, and compare their wives with other pretty women, especially if they watch cable, this is an affliction. Be contended with what Allaah has provided for you as this is your choice, and I think by these words of advice a husband can correctly guide his wife.
(Transcribed from the weekly Question and Answer session by Shaykh Mashhoor Salmaan: 11/25/06)
1 Al-Bukhaaree (hadeeth nos. 294)

HUNNNGRAY 4 Knowledge!

2007-01-01T07:51:00.000-08:00

My dua's were answered! At sundown, Eid will be officially over and I will have avoided Chuck E Cheeses. Alhamdulillah, I we didn't go anywhere that forced me (the only only niqabi) to sit in the corner while the rest of the muslim mixed freely (men and women) so that my kids could bounce themselves silly in some Moon Bounce.

As usual we prayed with our community - I got to see all the new babies, hug the sisters that live only minutes away, but I only see from Eid to Eid and eat a donut. After salaat we treked out to the sticks to slaughter. This is was a blessing, because we haven't been able to do so in years. The kids enjoyed running around in the pen with the other kids, rolling in mud/manure. The sisters sat in a tent talked, foreced me to eat liver, drink tea and just enjoyed one another. Masha'Allah I learn so much from my foreign sisters.

We hauled back north to have the meat cut up even further at the butcher and took a sharwama break in a Lebanese cafe. Everyone was watching soccer on TV.

We ended the day with an appearance at the Sister's party. Of course I had a melt down getting dressed. What to wear? Masha'Allah the sisters were lovely. We played Q and A, my team was Hungraaay 5 Knowledge, we answered move of the questions correctly, but still lost, because one question was worth 3,000 points. Masha'Allah I am happy for the sisters that won after only getting one question right. Masha'Allah. I am not bitter or anything.

Yesturday, I divided the meat and cooked. We had company over - I always struggle with entertaining sisters who openly choose to ignore/disobey some serious no no's of this deen. What do you say? How do you keep the conversation going? May Allah guide us, Ameen.

Today, we are going to pass out meat to friends and just lay low.

Adventures in the Salafi Capital of America

2006-12-31T17:20:00.000-08:00

Alhamdulillah, we made it back from an exhausting visit to see my Rent, Grand-Rents and not too many friends (actually none, but I tried). Coming home, is sometimes the opposite of comfortable. In contrast to Zaynab's experience, my visits feel like, well visits to some place other than the house I grew up in. Since, reverting to Islam, graduating school and really alienating my parents by getting married, my mother has been on a crusade to TAKE BACK HER HOUSE. Meaning, she has cleansed every room (except for the bathroom) of the sense of HOME that I once knew for 18 years. It started with my old bedroom, which is her new haven for her pink and green sorority clutter. So instead of a room with a bed for us to inhabit, we are now relegated to the basement den surviving on an airmatress/sofa bed combo. Secondly, the living no longer has a sofa, but a couch. What is the difference between a sofa and couch, well the later is something you can actually sit on. The rest of the furniture expensive, antique and easy to brake. I spend much of my visit steering the kids away from the danger zones, picking up broken stuff and assessing whether it can be glued back together. But we survived and we won't have to do it again until Spring.

On to more adventures. We went to the Zoo, masha'Allah we were able to see the tiger up close, a little too close for Ms. Mara's liking. The primate house had a male gorilla, who was putting on a show, by running from one end of the exhibit and slamming himself up against the glass. The zoo's Tree House was open and Ms. Pesa made a penguin paper bag and Ms. Mara's wanted to eat the glue sticks, nothing has changed. The Tree house was a nice break from walking outside, until Ms. Pesa couldn't resist trying to leap into the stream habitat. Alhamdulillah, she only got her sleeves wet up to elbow.
The next day my mother decided to treat us to Barnes and Nobles. I love books and usually I never get to buy my kids new books. We only borrow from the library. I succeeded in picking out some excellent titles and two on my new curiousity, Kumon (anyone want to talk about it, please post.) Only after, an alarm was set-off, a public discussion on hynies was broad casted in the crowded ladies room and a bottle of Poland Spring was emptied on the floor near the check out, we were finally finished.
As usual, I didn't make it to the masjid and likewise, I didn't get to see any of my friends, but I tried.

Eid Mubarak

2006-12-30T04:25:00.000-08:00

Alhamdulillah, we are back on the ranch. Lots of misadventures to write about from our trip to see my Rent. Looks like my dua' was answered, no Chuck e Cheeses, at least for today. But we have two more days, who knows what the ABI will conjure up. Okay off to pray and slaughter the beast. Yeee Haaaa! Rope 'em up and bring'em down.

On Safari

2006-12-26T07:47:00.000-08:00

I will be away for a few days. Be back by EID! Make Dua' that I can avoid my arch nemesis, Chuckie Cheese and the creepy oversized puppet band. The sisters are planning a Halal party at a hotel. I have to dust off my sequin dress. Those of you in the BURGS, I wish you could come. Can't wait!!!!!

Yeee Haaa!

2006-12-25T08:25:00.000-08:00

This is our future RIBA FREE dream villa in the Khaleej. Built by the blood, sweat and tears of the Savage Family. No sublets, fitnah or bid' aa!

And Riding through the dessert in our newly designed Moobat

chauffered by our trusty driver Texas Pete.

Tune in Now!

2006-12-24T11:44:00.000-08:00

al-akh 'Abdul-Rahmaan al-Afriiqi "Points regarding the Methodology of the Salaf"

Paltalk
1. Click rooms
2. Religion
3. Islam
4. Masjid as Sahabah

Busy This Weekend?

2006-12-22T17:14:00.000-08:00

If you are not in the neighborhood, tune on Paltalk: Room Masjid Assalafie

You Gotta Have Skillz!

2006-12-21T11:22:00.000-08:00

No! I am not talking about light saber skillz. Geesh! I am refering to wife skills, come on akhwati!
6 years ago, before I was married, I spent maybe a week with my oldest muslim friend, (masha'Allah that is like an eternity in revert years) and in those few days I learned so much about what it really means to be a muslim wife. Of course, I had all those common books on muslim marriage, but actually seeing a women being obedient to her husband and seeing the tranguility of it all was really stunning (in ways than one). Back then, she was a stay-in-the-house-aint' driving-nowhere, mom! Like that was totally alien to me.
Prior to my visit, I had all these plans to go back to school, get a job and build and empire, lol (who knows of what) all the while married. In her gentile way, she questioned me - no lectures, but with simple passive statements. Basically, she told me all that is impossible with a husband and kids. At least if you want do it well. We can't build our skillz from our Jaahil ideals.
So for a week, we were house wives together. We cooked, cleaned, read islamic books and dressed little boys (me putting on the wrong outfits, geesh when you have them so close together how do know whose socks are whose?) After that week, I was forever changed.
Now as a 5 year veteran at the house wife/ homeschooling ummie, I am building up my skillz bank. And everyday, I add new ones to the already exisiting ones. I still have ones that are still undiscovered, epecially in the area of effective communication. I come from a house of long winded/low-talkers and my husband comes from a tribe of shortwinded/holla'ers, so I am trying to bridge the gap. So we are still trying to find our inside voices, so to speak.
Wifee skillz help us cope and really they force us to combine of what we know from the Haqq about the role of the wife and what we come to discover about our hubbies over time. A good source of skillz can come from our mother-in-laws, if you can try and establish a relationship with them (only if they aren't totally majnoon). A good mom-in-law relationship can give clues to the clueless. Secondly, learn about the rights/roles of the wife and the husband. Take a dive into the Sunnah, check out hadeeths related to marriage, read about the Rasool Allah salaatu wa salaam and his wives. Read about the women of Medina. And the read the book pictured above. Alhamdulillah, it has been translated in English. These skillz can possibly keep you from the FIRE!

I PY

2006-12-17T09:55:00.000-08:00

Again another favorite of the Binats, I SPY! Masha'Allah these are great. They remind a bit of those Where's Waldo books from my childhood. What makes them fantastic? Well, they don't have images of anything with a sole. They are completely interactive. My Hubby will look at them with the kids. They increase concentration - the well trained mind, which is key to helping your little'uns to focus on details that necessary for learning phonics and decoding. Also, they are totally fun. They have series that are geared towards pre-schoolers, as well as puzzles and go-fish games. You can also do I SPY online at Scholastic.com. Another way to home school!

Something Worth Fighting Over

2006-12-16T17:24:00.000-08:00

This is the favorite toy of the Binats. I bought these at the Target "One Spot." Or as I call it the dollar section. They find many uses for these "Clippers," including holding up hijabs and hair accessories. They will actually fight over these. Who would have figured.

Story From Our Salaf

2006-12-16T15:21:00.000-08:00

One of the Salaf entered a field, and he was hungry and tired, and so he wanted to eat, as his stomach was 'rumbling.' His eyes went to went to the trees, so he saw an apple, and reached for it, then he ate half of it under the protection of Allah, and he drank from the lake near the field. After that, he was not aware of what he was doing due to his hunger, and said to himself:
"woe to you! How do you eat from someone elses goods without permission," so he swore that he finds the owner of the field, and ask him to make what he had eaten from him permissible, so he looked around until he found a door and knocked on it. The owner came out and asked him about what he wants . . . He said: "I entered your garden that next to the garden, and took this apple and eat half of it, then remember it is not mine, and I want you to excuse me forgive me for this mistake," so the man said, "I won't forgive you, nor allow you ever, except with one condition?" So he said (and he is Thaabit bin Nu'maan), "what is this condition?" The man said: "to marry my daughter" He said: "I'll marry her."

The man then said: "But my daughter is blind cannot see, dumb and cannot speak, deaf and cannot hear." So Thaabit bin Nu'maan began thinking and considering - what a disaster- what's he going to do? Then he remembered that the tribulation he has got by having this woman, and taking care of her and serving her is better than to eat from the food (sadeed) of hellfire due to what he ate from that apple, and he remembered that this days in the dunya are numbered that his days in the dunya are numbered. So he accepted marrying her, and he wished for the reward from Allah, the Lord of the universe. The day marriage came, the Thaabit bin Nu'maan was very worried : "How will I entered upon a women who doesn't speak, or see, or hear?! So he felt confused and in and in a delima, and wished that the earth swallows him before that happends (i.e. he does to her). but he relied upon Allah and said: " Laa Hawla wa laa quwata illa billah, wa inna lilah wa inna raji'oon." So he went to her, and as soon as he entered, she stood up and said to him "assalaamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh." When he saw her, he remembered what he ahd imagined of the hoor il'ayn in paradise. After remaining a bit quiet, he said: "What is this?" She hears, sees and and speaks, and so he informed her what her father had told him.
She replied: "My father spoke the truth and didn't lie." "How is it true?" She replied: "My father said I am dumb, because I have never said a word of haraam, nor have I ever spokent to a man whom is not permissible to speak to . . . She said I am deaf, because I have never sat it in a place of backbitting and gossip or tale-telling. . . She said I am blind because I have never looked at a man who was not permissible for me."
It was from this man and this woman that An-Nu'maan ibn Thaabit, also known as Imam Abu Haneefa was born.

Be

2006-12-16T12:46:00.000-08:00

Become a scholar if you are able.

If you are not able, then be a student.

If you can not, then show love for them.

If you are unable to do that,then (at least)do not hate them.
-Umar ibn Abdil-'Aziz (rahimahullah)

Advise

2006-12-16T10:38:00.000-08:00

The Tarbiyah isn't that you feed and clothe your children, that's already written by Allah. The Tarbiyah is that you educate your children upon tawheed.

Shaykh Salah Al Fawzan

Jamilalighthouse

2006-12-15T07:56:00.000-08:00

Jamila, where are you? Your blog is gone! Did you have that baby?

Who is The Stranger

2006-12-14T11:54:00.000-08:00

My whole life I have been a bit of an outsider. Growing up, I spent the first 17 years of my life at a Quaker private school. Even before I was born, my mother was a teacher there, so in true honesty, I was implanted there at conception. The school had only a sprinkling of people of color and even though it was a Quaker school the majority of student were Jewish. The school was located in the down town part of the city and I lived 30 mins away, up town with the trees and the crickets. I never got to see my school friends on the weekend, until the 7th grade, when a more kids from my part of town started to infiltrate the halls. Among the other African American kids, I was a bit of a pariah. To them, I didn't fit the mold. I looked different, I couldn't speak slang, I didn't take the public buses or the Sub. So, since they officially ruled in some secret middle school court of color that I was an "oreo," I was an instant outsider. Often, I was told that I act so white and talk so white. To counter the the influence of private school my mother join Jack and Jill. Some of you may be aquanted with this organization. It is a national association of Black women and their children to socialize and perform community service. In the past, the club was exclusive to those families who were lighter than the paper bag. If you were darker, you could joing Twigs, the less up-scale, browner counter part. Most of my peers came from upper-middle class families - black bourgeoisie. The sons and daughters of lawyers, doctors, judges, politicians and city officials. Essentially these were Uber African American kids-the ones that tried the hardest to be Black. They had enough money to wear it, rap it and move to it. Again, I was too white, hey I liked U2 and Sting.
I wonder how much of this influenced my decisions to major in Africana studies in college, play a major role in the BSU, SOAR (students organized against racism) and the campus UNITY House and travel/live in Africa.
Even as a muslim, I have experienced the same kind of isolation. I think people are always trying to figure you out so that they make assumptions. Humm, what is she? So now, I am not white, but I must be Arab (or as Zaynab's neighbor put it) A-Rab. Usually Egyptian. And some how because of my lightness/likeness I must know more Quran or I speak arabic - I hate to break it to you, I don't, but I wish I did. Or even, I was told by a friend that she thought I was mean. What? Me? Why?
As a sister who ascribes to Salafiyah, the feeling of being an outcast persists amongst the masses, sometimes feeling like a stranger even among the muslims. Wrapped in black, face, hands covered wanting to close the gaps for salaat . . .
So no matter whether I am an African American Meherrin Indian Caucasion former Quaker Episcopalean now muslim niqabi ummie salafi - I will always be strange.

“Many times in many situations the people that follow the religion of Allâh feel a sense of not belonging, of being out of place, of not fitting in, and, in other words, of being strange. This feeling could occur in a gathering of non-Muslims, but, unfortunately, this feeling sometimes also occurs when one is with his fellow Muslims.” Strangeness and the Strangers,Imâm Ibn Qayyim al Jawziyyah
“The third category of strangeness is, in essence, neither praiseworthy or blameworthy. It is the strangeness that a traveler experiences when he travels to a different country, like a person who lives in a place for a short period of time, knowing that he has to move on. One aspect of this strangeness is that all of us, whether we realize it or not, are strangers in this world, for we will all go one day to our permanent abode in the Hereafter. This is the meaning of the hadîth of the Prophet (peace be upon him) when he told Abdullah ibn Umar, “Live in this world as though you are a stranger or a wayfarer.” Thus, this category of strangeness has the potential to become a praiseworthy strangeness if we realize the meaning of this statement of Allâh’s Messenger (peace be upon him). ” Strangeness and the Strangers,Imâm Ibn Qayyim al Jawziyyah

Islam began as something strange, and it shall return as something strange as it began, so give glad tidings to the ghurabaa (the strangers). It was asked who are the strangers, O Messenger of Allah He replied "Those that correct the people when they currupt." [Reported Abu Amr Al-Dani and authenticated by Al-Bani.]

She's Back

2006-12-12T18:04:00.000-08:00

Alhamdulillah, poor mara is back. We aren't sure if she actually swallowed medicine or got into something else. We were at a relative's house when we noticed that she couldn't stand up or walk without falling. She was transported to the hospital then to Children's where they observed her for 18 hours. Alhamdulillah she was released, but really out of it, still able to walk, talk or use her motor skills well. Now, she is almost herself, but still really grumpy. Barak Allahu fiqum to all that made dua for her.

Make Dua For Ms. Mara's

2006-12-11T06:22:00.000-08:00

Last night my 2 and some change year old went to the ER. The cause a missing PILL and wobbly legs and lethargic behavior. Insha'Allah make dua for her.

Henna Sooq You Are Tagged

2006-12-09T06:31:00.000-08:00

Turning Things Around

2006-12-08T10:41:00.000-08:00

One of the men from the salaf was asked: "How do you gain victory over your opponents? you debate Arabs and your non-Arab yet when you debate you shut them up".

And he answered: "1st I become happy when my opponent speaks correct on a point, and i become sad when he is wrong, and i hold my tongue from him least i my harm him.

Imaam Ahmed said, How wise of a man.
(taken from Masjid Rahmah Kuthbah December 8th 2006)

Okay, Okay I Have Been Tagged

2006-12-07T20:35:00.000-08:00

Here are the rules: Each player of this game starts with the "6 Weird Things about You." People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 6 weird things as well as state this rule clearly. In the end you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says 'you are tagged' in their comments and tell them to read your blog.

1. I am obsessed with geneology and researching my own family history. This was one of my father's passions and I think it really made him feel good to see me so interested in my heritage and wanting to keep it alive.

2. Many moons ago, I used to montain bike through Quebec for a month, hike the national parks in the South West, repel through water falls, snorkel off the Indian Ocean and catch huge baracudas for dinner.

3. I can't wear slippers, because my feet will sweat.

4. I never can cook the same meal twice, which drives my husband crazy

5. I can speak kiamu dialect of kiswahili, but I am totally illiterate in it.

6. I was the starting center for my highschool b-ball team, everyone who knows me should have fallen out of their computer chairs by now with laughter.

Opportunities for Ilm

2006-12-07T11:25:00.000-08:00

Allaah says: "So ask of those who know...if you know not". 16:43
Introducing: New Weekly Classes designed specifically for our "Precious Gems":
The Muslim Sister's Class Schedule

Day: Yaumul Ahad (Sunday):
Book: My Advice to the Women
by Umm Abdillaah al-Waadi'iyyah
Location: Masjid Ahlul Qur'aan WalHadeeth
3415 18th Street NE Wash., DC 20018
Time: 10:30 AM---12:00 PM

Day: Yaumul Ithnain (Monday) Dawah Course
Book:The Clarity in Calling to Allaah with an Introduction
by Shaykh Saalih ibn 'Abdul 'Aziz bin Muhammad
Ahlus Shaykh
Time: 6:00 PM---7:00 PM

Day: Yaumul Jumua'ah (Friday)
Book: Important Lessons for Every Muslims
by Shaykh Abdul Aziz bin Abdullaah bin Baaz
Time: 6:00 PM---7:00 PM

* Each class will be broadcast via conference phone with access code.

* Each class will have interactive E-Mail Q&A session during the last 15 minutes of the class.

* Mondays' and Fridays' Classes are accessible by phone line along with access code *Only*.

* For further information or if you would like to participate, please E-mail us at ilmb4uspeak@gmail.com

GLUE, YUMMY!

2006-12-07T06:11:00.000-08:00

These are our things we can smell collages. Doing projects with 2 and some change year olds and a 4 year old (today, masha'Allah) doesn't always bring science fair results, but at least they had fun. They also had good taste in selecting things that we smell, but we couldn't really come up with things that smell, well stinky. Ms. Pese is getting better at cutting and glueing and Ms. Mara's is well one of those kids. The ones that EAT GLUE! So we had to finish up faster than expect and get the glue out of reach, before it became snack. I wonder what will happen when it comes out the other end?

My New Slippers from my Hubby

2006-12-06T06:18:00.000-08:00

Try and help me to remember to where them!

5 Senses

2006-12-06T05:57:00.000-08:00

I forgot to mention that for 4 weeks (or until the library books are due back), homeschooling the home bound will be exploring 5 blessings: smell, touch, sight, taste and hearing. Alhamdulillah. I realized once upon a time we had a book called Allah Gave Me Eyes. I am sure it is long gone, because is was ms. Mofsa's favorite bed time and anytime story. I must get another copy or try and have the whole series ordered at the library, all in the name of multiculturalism. Ironically, the have Yusuf Islam's A is for Alif and the board books stories of the prophets.
So far we have red a couple of books on hearing and I found a whole series in the non-fiction J section on the senses. Where did I get this idea for thematic learning? Well, I am sort of following the Houghten Mifflen pre-k program on www.eduplace.com. They have teacher resources, printables, bibliographies and learning goal sheets. With a little creativity you can play along without having to buy the books. Also, I got an okay montassouri book, why I say okay, well it doesn't have a lot of pictures (I admitt it, I have ABKB). But after skimming it after dinner, I realized I need work on processes with mis Pesa. For example, how to greet people. We will be working on this soon, insha'Allah. I don't think I feel up to sandpaper letters, I tried it, but who has time to cut all that out. I mean geesh!
Today's agenda will be the letter P, pasting beans on a P, also a collage on what we smell. Sounds sticky!
Okay, this post was brought to by the letter, P, the number 4 and all our friends here at Homeschooling the Home Bound, see ya next time!!!

Oppression

2006-12-05T06:26:00.000-08:00

Sheikh Dr. Saalih Suhaimi concerning oppressing others on the netTaken from my own notes from the fourth lesson of Sharh Akhlaaqal-Ulama by Imam Ajuree explained by Sheikh Dr. Saalih ibn Sa'das-Suhaimi during the Madinah Conference, Saudi Arabia 1426/200625th Jumada 1 142520th June 2006.

Sheikh Dr. Saalih ibn Sa'd as-Suhaimi said regarding those who write on the internet and oppress others unjustly:About twenty eight years ago two groups of students differed with oneanother. The extremity of the situation resulted in argumentation such that they did not seek the truth but rather only to please their owndesires. They accused one another of falling into sins. The matter of disagreement was regarding whether one places his hands on the ground before his knees while going down for prostration in the prayer. They charged one another of lying against the Messenger sallaahu 'alaihi wasallam. They claimed that these ones do no want the Sunnah. They fought each other until they threw chairs at one another. This is from the deceptions of Iblees and whoever occupies himself with pleasing their desires then they ends up being misguided…These affairs should be taken back to those firm in knowledge… let usconsider Imam Ahmed and Imam Shaf'ee rahimahumaallaah. They differed with regard whether one has to make ablution after eating camel'smeat. Imam Shaf'ee says that if one is upon ablution then eats camel'smeat and prays then their prayer is correct, while Imam Ahmed saysone's prayer is nullified. However, both of these Imams pray behind each other without mentioning this difference…Beware my brothers from some of the problems present on the internet.To the extent that one of these (troublemakers) tried to ascertain what his brother's saying meant by given it a meaning other than theintended one, thereby being futile… Another one has accused his brother of being an evil person and a Rafidi (an extreme group amongst the Shi'ah sect). The youths accusing others of being sinners, innovators and disbelievers. It maybe aresult of a misunderstanding. As the poet said, And how many speak against a correct statement And his shortcomingis due to his own wrong understanding By Allaah, we advised them concerning their argumentation andaccusingly ascertaining a false meaning to what others say. This has lead others who are weak in faith to accept it. May Allaah have mercy on Imam Ibn Baz rahimahullaah, when he advised the callers to Allaah in general, some people said that he was referring to the callers in Madinah specifically and to such and such person. Thus, falsely accusing others. So he rahimahullaah replied,"Those who delve in murky waters are the ones who say I am referring to such and such person…"Allaah said, "Do not go into that which you have no knowledge, indeedthe hearing, the sight, the heart, all of it, he will be questioned about."We should keep away from accusingly ascertaining a false meaning to what others say...…I say this to the students of knowledge, Fear Allaah concerning yourself (raising his voice), Fear Allaah concerning your brothers, Fear Allaah with what you put in your tapes falsely accusing and ascertaining a corrupt meaning to what others say. Fear Allaah concerning the internet websites that are used for falsely accusing and ascertaining a false meaning to what others say.Very little shame and much distortion in what your brothers sayconcerning those things that are not meant. By Allaah you will be questioned, by Allaah on a Day when neither wealth nor children will benefit you except the one who came to Allaah with a pure heart. ByAllaah you will be questioned. Someone wrote in that website, the one whose owners don't have fear of Allaah in reviling the students of knowledge with different types of insults and they even placed a student of knowledge and scholars to be a reference point for the website but I say this with much sorrow. I heard this tape from the website of someone, may Allaah forgive him,he specified twenty minutes talking against me with very dangerous slanders and he attributed to me and others what is befitting forhypocrites and disbelievers. He said so and so he has such and such and he followed other than the path of the believers…he fell into hypocrisy and disbelief and he differed from the scholars and he wenthere and there, by Allaah, if you heard those characteristics then they are not attributed except to the disbelievers and hypocrites. I don't say this to defend myself, but he was not only specifying mewith these slanders, only, but also other students of knowledge and scholars…I say to him two things: the first of them being that I will not use against him more than the arrows at night for I will not forget in the last third part of the night the supplication against him and those that aid him, Allaah willing. Secondly, I say to him: say what you say because in front of Allaah the disputers will gather and those that oppressed others will know which place they will end up in. I say this, my brothers, for the sake of Allaah such that a Muslim isaware that Allaah is watching him, thus being afraid of Allaah in that which he says and writes. That he is accountable concerning everystatement he utters for indeed a man says something without realising where it will reach until he falls into the hell fire a distance of 70 years.The Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam while holding his own tongue said to Mu'adh ibn Jabal (may Allaah be pleased with him), "withhold this!" So Mu'adh said, "will we be accountable concerning what we say?" The Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "May you be putback in your mothers womb and born again, for the people will bethrown into the hellfire upon their faces or noses on account of what their tongues used to say."The great calamity is that this enmity is happening between people who ascribe to this methodology and this one way, except that satan has caused enmity between them. It maybe satan found those who delve into murky waters just as Ibn Baz rahimahullaah said. If a person makes a mistake, do you take him out of salafiyyah and from the methodology of Ahlu Sunnah wal Jamaa'ah based upon your own specific opinion. Who is the one to clarify these affairs, they are the scholars who cultivate people to the truth, those who speak truthfully and are just upon it not Bakr or Zayd like us young ones. So FEAR ALLAAH wherever you are (Raising his voice). So FEAR ALLAAH wherever you are. So FEAR ALLAAH wherever you are. Fear Allaah concerning your brothers from Ahlu Sunnah, Be kind, loving and gentle with Ahlu Sunnah! Be kind, loving and gentle with Ahlu Sunnah! Be kind, loving and gentle with Ahlu Sunnah! Just as our sheikh Abdul Muhsin al 'Abbad said. I advise myself and you with the fear of Allaah in secret and in open.Allaah said, "And indeed We have created man, and We know what his ownself whispers to him. And We are nearer to him than his jugular veins (by Our knowledge). (Remember) that the two receivers (recording angels) receive (each human being), one sitting on the right and oneon the left (to note his or her actions). Not a word does he utter butt here is a watcher by him ready (to record it)." [Soorah Qaf: 16-18] I ask Allaah for myself and you that we gain beneficial knowledge andgood, correct actions for He is the One able to decree it and we saythe supplication which Jibraeel taught the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihiwa sallam to say:"O Allaah, the Lord of Jibraeel, Mikaeel and Israfeel, the Originatorof the heavens and the earth, Knower of the unseen and Bearer ofwitness. You are the One who judges between your servants in that which they differ, guide me with truth in those things that there is difference with your permission. Indeed you guide whom you will to the straight path."The hadeeth has is Hasan, see Sunan Abi Dawood (767), Sunan Ibn Maajah(1357), Sunan Tirmidhee (3420).End of translation. For those who don't know Sheikh Dr. Saalih ibn Sa'd as-Suhaimi, then he is in his 70's a teacher in the Prophet's mosque and also at The Islamic University of Madinah and is held in high esteem amongst the scholars of Ahlu Sunnah and the general people. May Allaah protect him. The sheikh is also blind may Allaah grant him paradise for his efforts in calling to Allaah. translated byAbdulilah Lahmami Sheikh Saalih al Fawzaan (hafidha-hullah) states,`'When calamity befalls the Muslim by way of what afflicts him, or on his wealth, or his child, or his relatives, or one of his brothers among the Muslims, then upon him is to exercise patience and becontented (i.e. be satisfied with what Allah has decreed for him), asAllah said:`'Who, when afflicted with calamity, say: `'Truly, to Allah we belong and truly, to Him we shall return. They are those on whom are the salawaat (i.e. who are blessed and will be forgiven) from their Lord, and (they are those who) receive His Mercy, and it is they who are the guided ones'' 2:157-158 This is sabr, and also from that is patiently persevering and bearing the harms in the path of calling to Allah. For indeed this is from the masaa-ib (calamities- i.e. those calamities one must meet with patience). So upon you is to exercise patience due to what may reach you of harm in the path of good, and do not turn away from good action/s. That is because among the people are those who want good (by way of performing good action/s), but when faced with something they detest,they would say, `'it is not obligatory upon me to engage myself with these affairs''. Then he abandons teaching if he is a teacher, and he abandons calling to Allah, and he abandons the khutbah in the masjid if he is the khatib of a masjid, he abandons the imamship, he abandons commanding good and forbidding evil. This one is not one who has exercised patience upon that which he received of harm.'' (sharh Usoolthalatha pg.34-35) Then upon you O salafees is that you ask Allah for ikhlas, patience and firmness. The wicked harmful enemies among the people of corrupt alliances are of different grades. There are those who do not evenspare the awliyaa of Allah (i.e. the ulema of sunnah), and there are those who do not spare those who transmit the saheeh methodology of the salaf from the ulema of Sunnah. BUT DOES THAT MEAN THAT YOU NOW ABANDON CALLING TO THE HAQQ, TEACHING THE PEOPLE AND CONTACTING THEULEMA TO CLARIFY THE TRUE METHODOLOGY. Laa, rather I say to all those brothers at the dawah at SP, Troid, and to all the common salafis like myself, we all have to come to terms with the fact that no one is safe from the satanic inspired slander, lies, and lewd speech of the people of false alliances. These pranksters (as sheikh ubaid called them before) continue not only with statements of support for the friends and allies of innovators, rather they also display the worst of character in speech whilst concealing their identities. Allah is Ar-Raqeeb over them.

Translated byAbu Mu-aawiyah Abdullah al Gambi

Taken from SalafiTalk.net

From the slave of Allah who is in need of Allah's mercy,

AGHHHHH

2006-12-04T16:44:00.000-08:00

Sunday morning, I woke up with my eyes tired, drained and exhausted. Even though they didn't feel swollen and puffy, I knew that they were. Saturday I cried. I sobbed and literally saw myself loosing myself. I have already said a lot and I can't go into the details of what I have been experiencing. This is not the place nor the way. It would take an amazing writer to really capture those vsiceral moments when we are our lowest. Once, we get to the computer, hours later, what ever has happened either in solitude or engaged with others, it has been mulled over and cerebralized. At this point, we have to guard our tongues and refrain from exposing ourselves and the ones that we love. If something is awfull enough to speak about it, then I must change it or remove myself from it. I would look like a fool if I complained and moaned to the blogisphere and did nothing. And came back the very next day complaining again and doing nothing. Regardles, whether I ever share what I am going through with anyone, it is me who has to make the decisions, choices and live them, no one else. Am I going to be active or passive in this trial I am facing? This is hard, because I really have to asses my role and how much my own behavior has contributed. I am seeing something in me that I saw in someone else. I have to figure out how to be triamphant with my plight - this might sound goofy, but I literally see myself on a track jumping hurtles. The questions is how do I dig myself out of the hole so I can begin running again - once upon a time I had so many tools to dig out and resurface, I even knew how to use them, drills with bits, hammers and wrenches. Now when I go to reach for them I notice they are gone. Someone has borrowing them with no intent on returning them and I have to figure out how to get them back, without breaking the deal. These tools kept me working. They kept me moving and they made me, me.

A Reminder to Myself When I Want to Throw in the Towel

2006-12-04T10:56:00.000-08:00

QUESTION
Is it permissible for Muslims to put their children in the schools of the non-Muslims, knowing the many contradictions to the the Islaamic Sharee'ah that are found in their schools and the effects they have on our children? Specifically for:
(a) those who have a proper Islaamic school in their city, but it is expensive
(b) those who do not have a proper Islaamic school in their city, rather there are "Islaamic" schools run by people of innovation
(c) those who do not have any kind of Islaamic school whatsoever in their city

ANSWER
by Shaykh Muhammad 'Umar Baazmool, instructor at Umm Al-Quraa University in Makkah

What is apparent to me, and Allaah knows best, is that it is not permissible under any circumstances for the Muslims to put their children in the schools of the non-Muslims. This is not permissible, especially when these schools teach things that are foreign to the Deen, like the beliefs of the Christians or the Jews, or other impermissible things.This is the case whether there is an Islaamic school in the city or not. No doubt, when one puts his children in the non-Muslims' school while there is an Islaamic school in the city, this is even more severely prohibited than the one who does so and does not have an Islaamic school in his city.[ This was the end of the shaykh's answer on the cassette. When asked over the telephone about the issue of Muslims putting their children in the schools of the people of bid'ah, the shaykh requested that the following be added to his answer: ]
And it is not permissible for the Muslims to put their children into schools where innovation is being taught, or things that are in contradiction to the Sunnah. The scholars are preventing students of knowledge from reading the books of the innovators, so how can it be permissible for little children to study in schools where innovations are taught?! Especially when they are not able to distinguish between Sunnah and bid'ah, their hearts may become attached to innovations, and Allaah's Refuge is sought. So it is not permissible to put children in schools where innovation is taught.

SOURCEThis was translated exclusively for www.bakkah.net from a cassette recording with the knowledge and permission of the shaykh, file no. AAMB010, dated 1423/6/25.

Program Changes

2006-12-04T10:40:00.000-08:00

Home Schooling the Homebound has been revised!

Now that my planned coup for the car was succesful, I have made changes to our Pre-K schedule.

Home Schooling the Home Bound: Monday, Wednesday and Friday (only Quran and Alif Baa on Fridays, I have bleach down the house)

Out and About (my new segment) Library, fieldtrips and playdates: Tuesday and Thursday (this may in the future include ummie and me at the masjid)

Alhamdulillah, we are just about complete with all the English letters with the exception of e. Today, I introduced spelling Ms. Pesa's name. This was a stretegy I used with my oldest. I made cards for the letters of their names in the correct case, one capital for the onset sound and lower case for the rest. Then using a lined handwriting strip I pasted identitical letters. So we will match the cards to the name strip saying each letter and its sound. We will do this probably for a few weeks until she begins to memorize the pattern. After that I will take away the name strip, scrample the letter cards and have her put them in order. Next step make practice handwriting strips with the dots. She will have to put the cards in order and write the letters down on her handwriting strip.
I pray this works with this one, they are all different and not everything flies with the next one.

BORING

2006-12-01T15:47:00.000-08:00

After reading the trials and tribulations of my fellow muslim sisters, I realize my days are BORING. I have no play-by-play of some drama that jumped off with my hubby, another sister in the masjid or my parents. This is my day . . .

Wow! Do you need to make potty? Make peepee, so mommy can say good girl, That's 1, that's 2, that's 3 go sit in time out! Stop Screaming! Use your words! If you want something to eat, you gotta sit at the table. Wash your hands! If you are finished playing in your kitchen, then you need to put your toys away! . . . . and it goes on and on, until they go to sleep. Exciting, right! By maghrib I am desperate for some conversation. Call the Hubby and I get "^&*(@#$%^&*(). " Not exactly what I wanted, but exactly what I expected, why did I even bother. The last resort is my mom. And why I say, she's the last resort, because all she wants to do is either talk to the kids, tell a really long story about nothing or get off quickly, because she can't eat cereal and talk at the same time. These days my best friend is DELL. Dell is always ready to listen and doesn't talk back.

Habari Za Potea?

2006-12-01T10:56:00.000-08:00

Feeling lost, totally alone, misunderstood and needing interpretation were the impetus for my blog explorations. First, I started searching, for what, I guess someone who could relate. I started with Lamu, then swahili, kiswahili, mombasa, mswahili . . . not much, at least nothing like me. I was trying to find a practicing swahili women living in the states. Why? I spent two years of my life speaking (or at least trying) kiswa, eating chapati and pilau, cooking with women, washing my clothes with omo (hanging undies in descrete places), attending weddings (practicing my chakacha in the mirror), wearing totally outdated brightly colored clothes with beads and ruffles, walking around with kangas, grinding coconuts making milk, drinking chai (not chai tea), avoiding malaria, getting malaria, riding in matatus, dodging donkeys and now all of this seems rather mythical. I have tried tirelessly to find swahili women from Lamu, Mombasa or Ingujah to visit with practice some kiswa sitting on the floor with the edge of one foot wedged between the big toe and the next of the other foot, picking our teeth with a broken piece of Makuti after a wonderful lunch of Sakuma wiki, pilau na buzi and mandazi. Were are you Fatma's, Asha's, Mwanamina's and Mariamu -ay's? All that I have met over here have trading in their bui bui's for tight pants, music videos and around-the-way-girl vernaculars. Naa meeen? Actually, I don't. Sometimes, I want a little piece of Kenya, siyo?

Poem

2006-11-29T10:29:00.000-08:00

Get Your Lips off My Dress!
© 2006 Umasiyah Hodan Abdullah Hussein

I feel good of myself and worship my Lord
And really of your ignorant words I am bored
I know a jewel like me is rare
But don't stare as though I am unaware
I ask of you to be sincere and fair
Judge me not by the cover on my face or hair
There is a person under the clothes I wear
With feelings, intellect and esteem
With goals, ambitions and dreams
It is not at all what it seems

So please, get your lips off my dress
Tell me why does it cause you stress
What I wear is my business
So get your lips off my dress
Yes… Get your lips off my dress

Don't tell me I am oppressed when I know I am not
A silly argument you've got!
Let me educate you in case you are for real
That my clothes are not out for your steal
Your fashion is not my desire
You don't dictate to me my attire
Oah… so you want to free me
Forcing me to free me is an irony
For your eyes simply refuse to see
That I am walking the earth freely
Content with my faith and modesty

Come on now, get your lips off my dress
Tell me why does it cause you stress
What I wear is my business
So get your lips off my dress
Yes… Get your lips off my dress

I am hiding my femininity you say
Rather, I am aware of it night and day
My body is like my home, while I have nothing to hide
I have the right to privacy and who sees what's inside
Not everyone who knocks the door enters therein
For my faith has guided me from sin
I respect my body and refuse to be used
To advertise commodity or other men amuse
Only those who I am safe with can see
This beauty that I hide within me
Natural and feminine with dignity

That's right, get your lips off my dress
Tell me why does it cause you stress
What I wear is my business
So get your lips off my dress
Yes… Get your lips off my dress

My hijab is a barrier, next you debate
The only barrier is the one YOU create
If I was to call you on a phone
Send you a fax, email you unknown
You'd never think it creates separation
Or that it hinders our communication
So why this double standard with my veil?
I just don't wish to be exposed to a strange male
Simple as that!... so listen up Jack
If I knock on your door, don't have a heart attack
Muslim women observe veils… respect that fact

Seriously, get your lips off my dress
Tell me why does it cause you stress
What I wear is my business
So get your lips off my dress
Yes… Get your lips off my dress

The veil hinders our integration into 'society'
How so? You see us walking and driving in the city
Going to the bank, shopping at the mall
We're nursing at the hospitals, Doctors on call
Business women, teachers, Mothers and all
Some of us are still studying at university
The wealthy help the needy and pay charity
Muslim women in harmony with community
It is just time you accept the world of diversity
Ethnocentrism robs you of so much wonder
Open your mind and allow it to ponder
Meanwhile, Get your lips off my dress
Tell me why does it cause you stress
What I wear is my business
So get your lips off my dress
Yes… Get your lips off my dress

Stepping Carefully

2006-11-27T11:35:00.000-08:00

For those of you who didn't know that my binats in pecking order consist of my percocious 6 year old step daughter, rightly named female lion, my almost 4 year old passive aggressive natural daughter who was wrongfully named after the quality of calmness and my fiesty 2 and some change year old who has a name I have yet been able decipher its origin. These are the Binats.
Coming into my marriage, I knew that my husband's daughter from a previous islamic marriage was going to play a major role in our relationship. Even when we met face to face on a sitdown (for all you philly sister, you know what I mean) she was there. While trying to ask all the important questions she ran around the musella, chewed up my stirofome cup and even bit my finger. But it wasn't until I peeped my husband from around the corner carrying her with the diaper bag comfortably slung around his shoulder and laying her down to be changed, talking gently to her and seeing her trust in him made me feel confident that I could see myself married to this man excepting stepmom-dom.
From the beginning, my husband wanted majority custody of her. At the time, the divide was equal coming out to 15 days here and 15 days there and it is amazing that even now he can still remember the schedule. Eventually as I officially moved in, met her mom and began assuming the duties of mommy in our house I soon realized that there were many details that I had over looked.
Beyond the obvious if getting to know my step daughter and gaining her trust, but also gaining the trust of the birth mother, especially when you are stepping a small child. Then comes the debate of over what kind of relationship was I going to forge with her mom? To be friends or not to be that is the question. And honestly, almost 6 years running I still haven't found the answer. Ideally, mom and step-mom should be co-moms, however theof emotions of feeling replaced by mom and the feeling of being an outsider by step mom causes constant hegimoney between the two. Also, whether to or not take on the role of being the liaison between my husband and his ex-wife in matters concerning their child. Again, I still haven't figured this one out either. In essence, step families, blended families and divorce with children is complicated.

In some situations, stepping gives rise to many of the same issues that are shared in polygyneous marriages. In our situation, my husband had two people and sometimes 3 including my step daughter vying for the attention of one man, but all in different ways. Ex-wife needed parental and financial support. Daughter needed love, security and structure. And me, I needed all of the above. And even though both families are seperate changes in one often more so than not, effects the other. For me, I have struggled with being flexible with the constant fluctuation of schedules, family dynamics and geographic changes. At times, leaving things in a less than harmoneous state. As well, I have seen my own kids suffer under the circumstances of having a part-time sister or the idea that she has another life apart from them.

At times, I became so overwhelmed that it almost cost my marriage. With my husband I had to step carefully, because I was always being tested on my loyalty to him and his daughter. Of course everyone is watching to see if my Wicked Step Mom qualities will come out and at times, I began to second guess myself.
Some advise that I which I had to learn the hard way. Never let your husband talk smack about his ex-wife. Unless she's a kaffir on crack, she's still a muslim and the mother of your step-child and you have to develope some type of working relationship with her. Always have a sister or two who have been there done that and equally don't back bite keeping everything halal. Learn the art of negotiation and try and take the switzerland approach on tuff issues. And for birth moms, always know that step-mom will never replace you, respect her and join forces against spoiled kids.

Comment Deleted

2006-11-27T11:14:00.000-08:00

The other morning, I deleated my first comment. Usually, I am elated to have tangible proof that the sisters are reading my posts, however this time I wasn't. I published the comment, but early the next morning, I clicked around and figured out how to remove it and I did. Why? Well, my blog is about myself as a homeschooling, ummie, wife, salafi, daughter, friend and all around strange person, thus the title Gharabah. Even though, I choose to label myself as a salafi mean: that I strive to call to the truth of the Qur'an and the Sunnah, which is the adherence to the path of the Messenger, may peace of Allah upon him, and the Fathful Believers, namely the Pious Forefathers (i.e. As Salaf as-Saalih) if of the Islamic Community of Believers and all those who follow in their footstep in their beliefs, actions and morals. Hey, don't we all want this? So, my family, we choose to take our deen from certain sources and likewise we leave off others and that is that. I enjoy sharing the tid bits of knowledge that I am able to obtain from my studies. I am not interested in arguing, because it is a waste of time. So, if individuals are uncomfortable with the books I quote from, the masjids I attend, and the events I advertise, you may comment, but be aware that it may not be posted.

Do We Ask Too Many questions?

2006-11-20T17:33:00.000-08:00

As I mentioned several posts-ago that I am reading The Creed of The Pious Predecessors: The People of Hadeeth by Aboo 'Uthmaan Islmaa'ell ibn 'Abdurrahmaan As-Saaboonee. Already, I have read the book in its entirety, but I decided to make it a three-round read; the second read for taking notes and the third for memorizing some, but not all of the important ayat from the Qurans, hadeeths and statements of the salaf pertaining to aqeedah. While taking notes on the chapter entitled The Qur'aan is the Speech of Allah and It is Not Created, I was forced to stop and read, re-read and read again one particular quote:
13 Ibn Jareer said: I heard a group of my Companions, who were so numerous, that I am unagle to remember their names, they all related from Imaam Ahmad, radiyahllaahu 'anhu, that he used to say:
"One who says that my recitation of the Qur'aan is created, then he is from the Jahmiyyah. One who says that it is not created, is an innovator."

For clarification, the Jahmiyyah is a particular group upon innovation, some scholars even call them unbelievers. However this statement is rather perplexing. But, I didn't understand what he was getting at. So, I read the translators note in the footnotes and it said:
"Related by 'Abdullah ibn Ahmad in as-Sunnah[181-1885] and at-Tabaree in Sareeh us-Sunnah [30-33]. The saying of the Salaf is that the Qur'ann which is written on paper, memorised in the hearts and recited upon the tongues, is the uncreated Speech of Allah. However, due to the fact that the human voice and the movement of ones tongue, are created actions (see chapter 16), the innovators said ambiguously that my recitation of the Qur'aan is created. This can lead to the previous saying that the Qur'aan itself is created. So the scholors such as Imaam Ahmad warned against this statement."

Okay, yeah that is stated the first part of his statement, when he referred to the jahmiyyah, right? But what did the second part: "One who says that it is not created, is an innovator" mean?
I continued reading and taking notes then in the next chapter that discussed Allah Istiwaa Over his throne, I cam across two important statements. The first being from Imaam Malik related from Ja'far ibn Maimoon that some asked the imaam about the istawaa and he replied in one narration:

"Al-Istawaa is know and how it is, is not know. Eemaan in it is obligatory and question it is an innovation. I do not perceive you except as a misguided one."

The second statement found in the footnotes is declared by Ibn Taimiyyah as saheeh in al-Fatawaa al-Hamawiyyah that Ibn Khuzaiman said: "I say, one who confirms that by believing in the book of Allaah and the ahadeeth of the Messenger of Allaah, (Sallaahu wa Salaam), entrusting their nature toAllah and his Messenger and does not get involved in trying to interpret and delve too deep in this matter, then he is a Muslim. . . However, one who rejects this after having knowledge then he is on a path other than that of the as-Salaf us-Salaliheen because he gave priority to his intellect over the text. Then his affair is upto Allaah and we seek refudge with Allaah from misguidence and heresy."

In each chapter, the imaam provides statements from the people of hadeeth that instruct us not to ask the questions why and how. And in fact doing so is an act of innovation. Later on the in the book, the story of a companion named Sabeegh of the tribe of Tameem who was punnished for going around asking other companions like Umar Al-Khattah randome question about the meaning of this verse and that verse from the Qur'aan. After some time, Umar ordered that the man be whipped one hundred times and confined to a room. After he was released he was whipped another one hundred times and had to be carried away, after which he was prevented from attending any gatherings until he swore that what ever had come over him was gone. After some time, he started up again and again he was beaten. Finally, he swore to stop. This story was related by Yahya ibn Sa-eed from Sa'eed inb al-Musayyab.

And finally al-Awzaa'ee, Sufyaan and Maalik were asked to describe the Attributes of Allah and the seeing them in the hereafter: They all said:

"Treat it how it comes, without saying how."

Masha'Allah

It's Alive . . .

2006-11-20T17:21:00.000-08:00

For those of you who have been waiting at the edge of your office chairs to hear the rest of the Bunk Bed of Dooom saga . . .

Finally, after a typically frustrating DAY at IKEA, we were able to put the bed together and my kids (or at least one) is sleeping in it. Even after it was built, we still had a pile of spare parts and a bag partially full of mystery screws. The finished product doesn't exactly mirror the image on the directionless directions nor the manufactures photos. One part we just didn't have. Several parts had wholes that weren't supposed too, were as other didn't have wholes that were they should either. So we made our own creation that was sturdy enough for the Destruco-Binats. I have to say, this was the most challanging IKEA product that I have ever had to assemble. And I thought I was a professional. I actually contemplated making it a business; building stuff for the impatient pampered IKEA shopper. If there was ever a contast for building BILLY bookcases, I would be there with my allen keys and a hammer.

IKEA Jones and the Bunk Bed of Doooooom

2006-11-18T12:53:00.000-08:00

The room is painted and we were ready to start construction. Until . . . We met the bunk bed of doom. I had scoured craigslist, ebay and freecycle for a bunk bed for my kids. But when I saw FREE . . . CHA-CHING! and it wasn't too far away! I called immediately, my hubby picked it up and scored 3 FREE torch lamps. Masha'Allah. 4 months later, we are trying to put it together and . . . things aren't going so well. We spent 2 hours last night in the room trying to decipher IKEAbonics, which consists of pictures of blob like genderless people, numbers and diagrams and absolutely no words. The screws didn't fit, we were missing pieces and the directions didn't direct. I am little crushed, because everyone who knows me, knows that I LOVE IKEA. Both my husband and I are former employees and I am a buff of putting their stuff together and how to get the best out of the not-so-well-known AS IS department. The place where you can get all kinds junk for less. I know IKEA isn't the most user friend place and the furniture quality reflects the prices, but I still love the aesthetics of the Swedish look.

Back to the bed . . . one trip to the store, a lost mommy and absolutely no real recourse for my problem, we are back home with a bag full of mystery screws and a husbands whose mad, because the cafeteria person told him the meat balls were beef (this is why I don't eat meat out.) So, I guess this is what I get for being cheap and loving anything from IKEA, even if it's junk. Make Dua for us that we get the binats out of our room . . .

How Do You Say MAINTENANCE with a Korean Accent

2006-11-15T10:51:00.000-08:00

I guess, he would sound something like the character "Long Duck Dong," from Sixteen Candles minus the chime of giant cymbals everytime he appeared.
Every morning the Binats and I take a walk. Sometimes we go to the store, the playground or we loop around the various courts pushing a mini-plastic shopping cart and the BIG WHEEL. Today, I noticed coming around the bend to our court, a big white truck parked in one of the spaces in front of our house. Ah, maintenance . . . As I approached, I thought I had been mistaken, but the sound of music coming from the open livingroom window. It was, it was Jingle Bell Rock. I openned the door, yelled hello and it was indeed Maa'naance. I had forgotten that I called about our lousy outlets that couldn't seem too hold any plugs, especially the vacum nor the hair dryer; two crucial appliences to a housewife. He had turned our radio on and changed it the station from NPR to the Christmas station.

I showed him which plugs were giving me the problem. However, everytime I call and they come and everytime I end up feeling like an idiot for making them come out. You see, he explained my problem wasn't the outlets, but my foreign made products, from IKEA. Lol, none of the items were from Ikea. But in anycase, all I needed to do was widen the prongs on the plugs so that they would stay. I guess, I should have thought of that myself. Even though he was right, I still succeeded in finding two outlets that indeed needed replacing. Maybe instead of being a hyperchondriac, I am hyper-fixiat.

It's Like genealogy

2006-11-13T16:10:00.000-08:00

Currently, I am reading the books pictured above. Usually, I try not to read two books at one time and actually, I don't get to read anything at all, but with 20 min. open before bed and a query lingering over my head, I started reading. The two books are The Creed of the Pious Predecessors The People of Hadeeth by The Great Imam Aboo'Uthmaan Ismaa'eel ibn Abdurrahman As Saaboonee and the other The Status of the People of Hadeeth by Allaamah and Muhaddith Shaikh Rabee' ibn Haadee al-Madhkhalee. Essentially these books discuss identical issues. The book by As Saboonee focuses on the people of Hadeeth's treatise of issues of the Aqeedah of Allah and his Messenger and Shaikh Rabee's book looks at the status of the great Muhadaatha of the past. The reason why I zeroed on on these texts, because I have been noticing since the explosion of Islamic information on the web many individuals, communities and institutions abandoning the methodologies of the sunnah and replacing them with man- made ideologies. So much so that the believers don't know who the real scholars are and rely on callers and imams for guidance in understanding the deen of al-Islam. I have been in a position many times when I hear individuals say that they don't know who to follow, who are the shayuk and are confused as to who is on the correct path.

Shaykh Al-Baanee, Hafidhahullah, said"

"Some people may find it hard to accept the explanation of the those scholars that the Victorious Group and the Saved Sect, are the People of the Hadeeth, but that is not strange if we remember what follow:

That the People of of Hadeeth are, due their specialization in studying the Sunnah and what is connected to it, likewise the knowledge of the biographies of the narrators and the defects in the narrations and also the knowledge of the different routes of narration, most definitely, they are the most knowledgeable of the people about the Prophet, (Sallahu Alahi wa salaaam) and his guidance, manners, battles, and everything else connected to him."

And Al -Khateeb al-Baghdaadee (Hafidhhahullah) said:

"And if only, the person of blameworthy opinions were to occupy himself with beneficial knowledge and if he were to seek the Sunnah of the Messenger of Allah (Sallahu Alaihi wa Salaam), and that he followed the way of the scholars and the People of the Hadeeth, he would find that which would enrich him, as to whatever he sought. . . So the People of Hadeeth are Allah's faithful custodians among men and the link between the Prophet and his nation."

For many muslims we focus our attention of the obvious scholars such as Sahih Bukhari and Muslim, as well as the writings of The four great imams, ibnul Kathir. But since the beginning of the khalifat, for every generation since then have been blessed with dozens of scholars, Great Imams of the times. The ones mentioned above achieved greatness at different times and were not contemporaneous with one another. However, this scholarship has not ceased. You see All true scholarship isn't already compiled, translated and published ready to ship from Islam.com. There have been Great Imams in our time, like of Shaykh al-Baanee, Ibn Baaz and Uthaymeen, Hafidhahullahuma. Believe it or not, there still continue to be Great Imams in the making. But how to do find these scholars; People Hadeeth? Al-Baanee and Uthaymeen in their writings declared the knowledge of living scholars to be strong, without mistakes in their methodologies and only the ignorant would critize them. An example would be Shaykh Rabee' hafidhahullah. He is professor in the University of al-Madinah and head of the department of Sunnah, in the Higher Studies department. When asked about him, Shaykh Uthaymeen replied,"I do not know it [methodology] to be contrary [to Ahlus-Sunnah]. Shaikh Rabee' has been praised by the people of knowledge of today. I do not know anything but good about him." I found this quote in his book The Status of the People of hadeeth along with favorable quotes from Al Baanee, ibn Baaz and Fawzaan. So if these individual praise him, why wouldn't we take our deen from him? Others, Masha'Allah who hold great Ilm are Shaykh Ali Shaykh, the Grand Mufti of Saudi Arabia and Shaykh Fawzaan of the Ulema Kibaar.But how do we access him and others like him?

I guess finding the real scholars can be difficult since the dua'at and imams are so accessible. It seems every other blog has a link to Zaytuna and Al Maghrib institutes. A number those leading gatherings in the popular institutions have studied in various places with the Shayuk. Some of their teachers are custodians of the Sunnah and some are not. These institutions advertise colorful classes on history, love and marriage and brotherhood, but these lessons can be learned by exploring the books that lay the foundations of our beliefs : Forty Hadeeth, Riyadul Saliheen, Beneficial Knowledge, Qowlul Mufeed, Bulughul Muram, Thalathul Usool and there are so many more.
These classes are available online, in-person or via the phone by the scholars themselves with translations by their students. Why not cut out the middle man and go straight to the source.

My policy these days is if individual isn't known by the people of hadeeth then it's best to leave him alone.

Check out these sites:
www.spubs.com
www.bakkah.net
www.sahab.net (arabic)
www.palktalk.com - like religion/islam/salafi duroos 0r Salafipublications, Masjid Rahmah . . .

Skip Died

2006-11-11T12:19:00.000-08:00

Did Grandpop die? He's not in the hospital anymore? He was too sick? Did they put him in the ground?
Last spring my father passed away, after nearly a year of battling lung cancer. The idea that he is no longer accessible is perplexing to me and I wonder if I haven't truly excepted the fact that he is dead. Usually in bed, laying down naps in day light or in the night I think about him. And only at those moments do my eyes become glossy and disoriented with tears. I imagine him sick, in the bed at the hospice - no longer jolly with wispy white hair, but emaciated with a patchy buzz cut done by "Jack of all trades," Mr. Bernard his roommate with the sincere approval of the Unquakerly Quaker. I remember his finger touching my hand, a gesture that mean not to worry and the appreciation in his eyes for all that I did to make him happy. I still seek his approval in the things that I do, because I will always be Skip's daughter. His death entered me as unsettling feeling relief. Never did I whale, not because I am not supposed to, but it simply it wasn't there. No where inside did this lye. So, I just have moments that I naively say, "I can't believe he is gone" and let out a few tears. These moments don't last long - usually I am distracted with my own anxious thoughts about cleaning something or cooking something. . . I miss my dad a lot. I miss impromptu excursions to the Delaware service station for a meal at Bob's Big Boy; road trips with the CB radio; our weekly therapy sessions with Dr. Me; the tales of Cousin Hortence and the cancer planted in her mailbox by BIG TONY; and most of all "Heeey" and a big chuckle. He was my dad, my protector and simply knowing that some body thought I was wonderful.

How to Love Neighbors

2006-11-11T11:56:00.000-08:00

Neighbors

BEHAVIOUR WITH NEIGHBOR
The Prophet Muhammad (peace be
upon him) said: "He will not enter Paradise whose neighbor is not secure from
his wrongful conduct." - Sahih Muslim, Hadith 15
BE KIND TO YOUR
NEIGHBORS
The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: "If you are kind to
your neighbor, you will be a believer. If you like others to have what you like
for yourself, you will be a Muslim." - Al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 1334
BE GENEROUS
TO YOUR NEIGHBOR
The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: "Whoever
believes in God and the Last Day should be generous to his neighbor." -
Al-Muwatta, Volume 49, Hadith 22
BE A GOOD NEIGHBOR
The Prophet Muhammad
(peace be upon him) said: "If anyone is pleased to love God and His Messenger or
to have God and His Messenger love him, he should speak the truth when he says
anything, fulfill his trust when he is put in a position of authority and be a
good neighbor." - Al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 1289
A man once asked the Prophet:
"How can I know when I do well and when I do ill?" The Prophet replied: "When
you hear your neighbors say you have done well, you have done well; and when you
hear them say you have done ill, you have done ill." - Al-Tirmidhi, Hadith
1288

I wonder if there are conditions or exceptions to these ahadeeth for example:
1. The manly blond across the way with the yalping dalmation who you spotted kissing the female owner of the new Lexus parked in front of your house
2. The neighbor who stands in her doorway topless.
3. The neighbor who accuses you of killing her grass after cutting it and tells other neighbors of your crime, may I add she has dogs that we never see, because she doesn't walk them.
I know the Hadeeth of Umm Jameel and how she threw garbage at the prophet, but an open homesexual, zinaa exhibitionists and well, maybe an animal abuser, do these people fall under the same categories? Insha'Allah may Allah guide these people, myself and insha'Allah grant me the opportunity to make hijrah ameen . . .

Thursday - Homeschooling the Home Bound

2006-11-09T13:45:00.000-08:00

Today, we started very late actually, very late. We didn't get down to business until after 10:30 am (I am not totally sure, because my husband has all the clocks set to different times,) I know it was definately between 10 and 11am.
Quran: Review of Fatiha, Ayatul Kursi, Amannerasool (last two of Baqarah), Suratul Kawthar seal up her pronounciation and a review of Suratul Nasr down to Falaq. Masha'Allah did well.

Phonics: One run through of her letter cards - with vowels she already seems to know "o" and calls "i" dot.
Big Milestone, she finished book one of the Primer for Explode the Code - stickers were awarded, Masha'Allah.

Math: We read Ten, Nine, Eight by Molly Bang. They liked this story a lot, but anything with babies is a winner with my kids.

Games: We went outside to blow bubbles - which resulted in soapy side walks. Once the bubbles were finished, we climbed trees. Ms. Pesa climbed quite high in our sole tree, a dogwood. Ironically, my mom had many photos of me climbing the dogwood at her house. I did my final yeard clean -up. It was sad to pull up my impatients and put them in a yard rubbish bag. I forgot to take a photo of them before they died.

I'd say a good day. I will post later about my neighbors.

My Henna Debut

2006-11-08T19:15:00.000-08:00

A little fuzzy, but this is my first henna design on someone other than myself. The specimen, my husband's little cousin, Tonee (she has accents on the "e.") So, I guess I can stop doodling on my own hands, throw out my henna stencils and go it free hand.

Six Degrees or Less -Finally My Cute Story

2006-11-06T18:51:00.000-08:00

I am a bit of a sap when it comes to matters of the heart. I remember crying during Fox and the Hound (my dad couldn't make heads or tails as why I was sobbing after leaving the theatre). And, I am pretty sure, I cried at the end of Sixteen Candles. So, many times, sisters have revealed their stories of how they met their hubbies. I call these "cute stories." One sister told me that her husband had been a constant admirer from across the train tracks during the morning commute. One day, he walked up and handed her a piece of paper with the name and number of a muslim sister (my friend wasn't muslim at the time.) She called the number. The sister gave her dawah, she accepted islam and immediatly had a proposal for marriage, her admirer. Awww! So, I have mentally collected many sister's stories, but wondered about my own, did I have one? I saw my and my husband's union rather ordinary. Until last Spring, I had my ah ha moment. So here it goes, try and keep up.
My father's best friend Chuck, wife's half sister's step-son was married to my husband's ex-wife's ex-husband's older sister . . . Got it. How cute!

Ninafunga Ninja (I Wear Niqaab)

2006-11-04T13:27:00.000-08:00

I can't refuse the opportunity to put my 2 cents in on the veil issue, hey everyone else is!

We don't always come to the veil with hikmah, at least I didn't. My veiled days began about six years ago when I was doing NGO work in East Africa. The first time I wore it was at a ritual stick dance performed during a wedding. Usually, women aren't allowed to watch, but unmarried teenage girls scamper up the limestone walled houses to peek from rooftops in black veils. So, I borrowed one and followed my friends up to the top of the house of Saidi Wadi, a neighbor to watch the display in a sandy clearing between usually inhabited by stray donkeys and shoesless kids. I felt like one of them.

My friend, who usually never put on the veil (that the Swahili ironically call ninja), so she gave it to me to keep. I began wearing it on a part time basis, especially when traveling to the mainland, in the cities and to social events at night. I enjoyed the anonymity of the thing. You see my tiny remote Island off the coast of Kenya, just miles from Mogadishu with no cars was clad with characters, escapees who settled on an island paradise lost in the past. So me being the American Muslim Girl gave me automatic celebrity status amongst the locals. I was even more popular than Princess Caroline of Monaco and her Austrian boyfriend, the Prince of Hanover, who resided around the bend (I am serious). So as the word spread, I had a little following, including a young man who wanted to teach me Kiswa, an enchanting little girl named Fatma and a crazy many who claimed that I stiffed him on a tip for carrying my bags from the airport. And I amused forgot the 20 families who wanted me to come to their homes for lunch. Suddenly my part-time veil became a full-time part of my wardrobe. Ah, it gave me peace to be able to weave through streets without constantly changing course to avoid the banter of onlookers or having to race past Mariam's store, without hearing her say "mwanafunzi (student)," which was her code for come buy something. You see my veiling wasn't a result of any "knowledge" or act of eman. I was just trying to be anonymous.

Once back in the states my veil came off, but not for long. I started teaching at an Islamic school in my home town. I was unmarried, young and . . . In any case, working in a mixed environment caused me to dig out my old veil and work it back into my life, at least between the hours of 8:00am to 3:30pm. Again it was part time, but it sent a clear message to my male co-workers and again allowed me a sense of personal space that I seemed to be denied without it.
By the end of my first year teaching I was married and my veil became a permanent fixture in my life. I officially became known as a niqaabi. Over the years, its styles changed due to function and increased knowledge of proper hijab. I learned a lot of about my veil. But up until a few years ago, my veil was to prevent males form looking in and I never reflected how it affected the one looking out.
Now, here comes the part about good ole' Jack Straw. Mr. Straw's statements that the Islamic veil inhibits communication between it wearer's and its onlookers is probably an opinion shared by most none Muslim's, but never expressed publicly. Due to Mr. Straw's position in the lime-light and readily available access to the media - he was able to beat everyone to the punch. Now, on several occasion people have come close, but never going as far as to state the obvious as did Mr. Straw. Yes, this piece of material is a barrier. You can't see the women's face, her nose, her mouth and expressions. It muffles the voice and it does make communication difficult. On numerous occasions, I have smile at someone and got no response. I can make all kinds of faces, pick my nose and stick out my tongue and the onlooker would have no inclination of the gestures that I had communicated. But that's the point!
And what about the Muslim women that Straw had met with? Why were they there? I mean, I understand that they were meeting with him to discuss community issues, but does the veil inheritantly give the muslim women access to what would normally be haram without it? Do we forget that that it is double sided - its view I mean. The paradox of this piece of fabric isn't just that once tied or snapped we talk loud, mix with men, stare at men and roam about town unaccompanied by our husbands, sons and brothers. I think this is what is missing in the Muslim Veil debate - how is this piece of material a manesfastation of a muslim women's understanding of her religion. Isn't it designed to be a guard for her, as well? It is a reminder of modesty and manners - to lower our gazes, watch what you say, mute your voice and protect yourself from contact with unlawful males. So if these believing women understand their veils - then why are they meeting with Mr. Straw? I read that even after being asked to removed them (to open the lines of communication), some of them did, while others refused. Now, I am not suggesting that muslim should not have a voice, but keep your veils on and follow the examples of the believing women, only through their wisdom will be truly be rewarded for our efforts.
Here are a few examples of evidences from the the Book of Allah and the Sunnah of His Messenger (alahi salatu wa salaam), this was pasted from www.muslimconverts.com. (I cannot vouch for this site, however this piece on niqaab summarized the statements made by Shaykhs, Bin Baaz, Uthaimeen and Fawzan - (May Allah Preserve them) in the book Four Essays on the Obligation of Veiling.
According to Shaikh 'Abdul-'Azeez 'Abdullah bin Baaz and Shaikh Muhammad ibn Saalih Al-'Uthaimeen said that the Niqaab is indeed wajib (compulsory upon the believing women and their argument is strong and convincing, Others such as the Muhaddith of our time Shaikh Muhammad Naasiru-Deen Al-Albaanee said that the Niqaab is not wajib (compulsory) but rather Mustahab (highly recommended) and this argument is also strong and convincing.

Many of the great Ulema of the past have also said that Niqab is fard (compulsory). Therefore the safe option to take is to wear the Niqab. For if you wear it and it was not fard (compulsory). Then you will InshaAllah at least get the reward for practicing something that the Prophet peace be upon him approved of and his wives and the sahabiyat did. And they are the roles models for the women of this Ummah with regards to how a women should dress and behave. So you do not loose out at all if you wear the Niqab.Niqaab is indeed a practice of the Sahabiyaat and the mothers of the believers.

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said: The truth of the matter is that Allaah has made two types of adornment: visible and invisible. It is permissible for a woman to show her visible, outward adornment to people other than her husband and mahrams. Before the verse of hijab was revealed the women used to go out without a jilbaab and the men could see their faces and hands. When it was permissible for a woman to show her face and hands, it was permissible to look at them because it was permissible for a woman to show them.

Then when Allaah revealed the verse of hijab and said (interpretation of the meaning): ÂO Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks (veils) all over their bodies (i.e. screen themselves completely except the eyes or one eye to see the way). That will be better, that they should be known (as free respectable women) so as not to be annoyed. And Allaah is Ever Oft-Forgiving, Most MercifulÂ[al-Ahzaab 33:59] then the women began to observe hijab in front of men. It was narrated that ÂAaÂishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: ÂMay Allaah have mercy on the women of the Muhaajireen. When Allaah revealed the words (interpretation of the meaning)Âand to draw their veils all over Juyoobihinna (i.e. their bodies, faces, necks and bosoms)ÂÂ[al-Noor 24:31], they tore their aprons and covered their faces with them.Â (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4480)

The Mufassireen, such as Al-Qurtubi, site in their Tafseer of the Ayah on Jilbaab (Al-Ahzab 33:59) that the Jilbaab is: "a cloth which covers the entire body... Ibn 'Abbaas and 'Ubaidah As-Salmaani said that it is to be fully wrapped around the women's body, so that nothing appears but one eye with which she can see." [Tafseer Al-Qurtubi]. However, aside from this Tafseer, we do in fact have an authentic Hadeeth mentioning Niqaab. The Prophet (peace be upon him ) commanded: "A woman (pilgrim) does not cover her face with a Niqaab (i.e. does not tie or affix) nor should she wear gloves." [Al-Bukharee; Muslim; Saheeh Abi Dawood #1600; authenticated by Al-Albaanee]. Thus, from this authentic Hadeeth, we can clearly see that the Sahabiyaat (RA) were accustomed to covering their faces with Niqaab otherwise, there would not have been any need for the Prophet (peace be upon him) to specifically forbid it during the state of Ihram. Likewise, during Ihram, men are forbidden to cover their heads which shows that outside of being in the state of Ihram they were accustomed to covering their heads, and Allah knows best.

It was narrated that ÂAaÂishah said: ÂThe riders used to pass by us when we were with the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) in ihraam. When they came near, each of us would lower her jilbaab from her head over her face, and when they passed by we would uncover (our faces).Â Narrated by Abu Dawood, 1833; Ahmad, 24067

Sorry for the long post, masalaama.

Trading Spaces . . .

2006-11-03T17:22:00.000-08:00

Those sisters who love HGTV - wouldn't you like to give my kid's room a make over?

Those are not smudges on the images, but Art Work . . .
For a better part of the summer and now into the fall we have been planning to re-do the binat's room. So since mid-August, their room has been abandoned and converted to toy and clothing storage and our room has been turned into a dormitory. The slumber party was fun for about a week - until Ms. Mara's started serenading use with her irrational overtures. As soon as the lights go out, she began with the sonatas of sniffling, which progresses to ballads along the lines of "I can't see nobodieee," or "I want to sleep in my bed (my bed)." It doesn't take long for the climax of full fledged whining, squealing and gasping. I call it repressed crying. My hubby can't stand it anymore and she is driving him crazy.
So tomorrow morning we will be taking a family trip to Home Depot to pick out paint (white, but left up to me, lime-green) and supplies. This is my hubby's element. Not only did he used to work there, but used to give Do-it-yourself demonstrations on home painting projects. So I am sure the outing will include a bit of showing off.
One thing, we trying to steer clear of our crazy next door neighbor who works their- who blames my husband for killing her grass - as I overheard her telling someone one morning through the window. Actually, my hubby mowed her grass as a courtesy, because she was mowing it with a manual push mower that was only flattening and selectively cutting some blades. My kids even commented on her lawn - yelling, "what are you doing out the window?" and my step-daughter added, "I think she trying to cut the grass."

Back the room - so I will post the after shots in a few days with new bunk bed and hopefully some curtains, insha'Allah. IKEA, here I come!

Fight Night! -Put Your Money on the Bent Bint

2006-11-02T13:50:00.000-08:00

For couple of

nights I have had a standing appointment with my husband to have a chat about the state of affairs of the Muslims in our house. Monday, I fell asleep. Tuesday, I wasn't feeling like talking and last night would have passed us by, but I forgot to take the chain of the front door, which is an automatic strike in my husband's book. My husband and I come from two different cultures of American Debate - me being accustumed to the MFB (Meeting For Business) style of discussion, "Friend Speeks My Mind", the soft spoken exhanges or SAT verbal ping pong. My Hubby has another approach - which I call the Fred Sanford way or my friend calls the Black -Man-O'saurus style. And, not placing any jugdement on the way he talks- because his way puts the ping-ponging and the brat antics that learned being an only child in check. So, after the whole door thing was explained, we had a chat. Masha'Allah, I think we made some headway and even today, my husband excercised one of our compremises. So, insha'Allah tonight should be good night, bithnillah.

Ummies Have Trantrums Tooo!

2006-11-02T13:21:00.000-08:00

For two days, Homeschooling the Home Bound has been a disaster. Ms. Pesa isn't bitting with the Quran. Masha'Allah everthing was going well, until Kafiroon. Now, she can't seem to finish it. So, I have decided to just keep saying it without breaking the Ayat down. She memorized Ayatul Kursi and the last two of Baraqarah without direct instruction, Masha'Allah. But when we sit down, she wants to start an argument with statements like "I don't like that one" or "I don't know how to say it." But when I say okay and get up, she gets even more upset. So which is it binti - do you or don't want to practice Quran? Yesturday, it was so bad that she wouldn't even do her letter cards, which is unusual (as mundane as it sounds she loves to do the cards.)
Today, I had my fill of the crying, whinning and kicking and I blew my top and threw a book across the room. Totally immature of me. I put Ms. Pesa in time out, even though I am the one who needed it and went into the Hamam. My two year old, Ms. Mara's came in asking me, "are you mad momma?" That's soo sad. I am soo sad. I called a sister to get advise, she couldn't talk. Did a search online for help and read a enough to give me a pep-talk. Number 1. ignore the back talk and keep going. The point is to get me to stop the activity that don't like. So my kids had already started playing. Wait . . . they won and I gave in.
So, I turned off the monitor and ask Ms. Pesa if she was ready and surprisingly, she said, "yes." I told her we had ten more minutes. She sat close to me, focused her eyes on my mouth and recited the Surah better than ever . . . we even started Suratul Kawthar. Masha'Allah.
After Quran, the day went as usual. Letter cards with the introduction of the orange cards - the big bad "vowels." Next, Explode the code - letter of the week: R,r. She learned a couple new words: Rocket, Rake and Rabbit (we usually call them bunny rabbits). After, LA we did our Saxon lesson, counting to 5 with bears. Today, the bears were tired and had to sit on chairs (pattern block hexagons). Next puzzles, we tackled the Elephants. Lastly, We walked to the store bought stamps, searched for a mailbox, lunch and nap. Instead of craft, we cooked triffle. What fool invented the combination: pudding, whipped cream and sour creame? Alhamdulillah, the parfaits are for just us - plenty of fingers in the bowl.

Lectures

2006-11-02T05:43:00.000-08:00

Aqeeda, Fique, Dawah - click on the link to view flyer.

People are reading my blog!!!

2006-11-01T17:34:00.000-08:00

Thank you everyone who wrote, I just realized that I had comments that were unposted. This blogger thing is a bit of a maze.

Jazak Allahu Khairun

I've Been Tagged!!

2006-11-01T15:12:00.000-08:00

Height: vertically Challenged
Color: too many to mention just one
Some like to call me: Anisah, because people can't remember my name
Piercing: Ears
Tattoos: Never
Right nowTime: 6:07pm
Mood: Rushed - trying to finish before I am ambushed by my binats
Tastes: Curry Chicken
Weather: Warm enough to open a window
Bad habit: Throwing the phone while talking to bill collectors
Current crush: my blog
Biggest regret: I have two, I needed to ask my father one question before he passed away and not standing-up to my evil step-mother the unQuakerly Quaker.
Perfume(s): my clothes are saturated with Garlic from dinner
Thing I want to do: Make Hijrah and give my mother her Shahadah
FavoriteTV show: We don't have TV My Co-Wives October 29, 2006
Book: "The People of Hadeeth" By Saboonee
Non alcoholic drink: Stoney Tangawizi - Ginger Soda
Milk drink: strawberry
Brand: The ones that fit
Color: Anthing bright
Emblem:
Perfume: a toss-up between Kenzo, Bukhoor and Somali/Swahili Ounsi/Oudi
Chocolate: Roche
Have I Ever Broken the law: Sad to say, but Mos Definately, yes
Misused credit card: no - but someone else did.
Skipped school: In high school, never a whole day - in college, of course.
Fell asleep in the shower/bath: Never, I can't even fall asleep in my own bed.
Had children: Yes, the binats
Been in love: Not yet, but I pray to Allah everyday that he put love and mercy between us, ameen.
Been hurt: yes
Have a job: Nurse, Manicurist, pedicurist, cook, teacher, therapist, hynee wiper, hair-braider, maid and the list goes on and I am still waiting to get paid.
My CD player has what in it right now: Nothing
If I were a crayon, the color: Lime-green
What makes me happy: It's been so long, I can't remember.
When/What Was the LastI got a real letter: Last week from the Unquakerly Quaker.
Got an email: this morning
Thing I purchased: Toilet paper, a single whole puncher and construction paper.
TV program I watched: It's been a while
Movie I saw in the theaters: Ali - with Wa (Innallahi wa inner rajeeoon)
Hugged: I can't remember the last time my hubby hugged me, but my binti hugged while I was on the potty - I guess her way of showing support.
Place I was an hour ago: The kitchen - on dinner patrol.
Song heard: hold music for bill matrix - some strange saxaphone jungle
Phone call: Mommy
Was depressed: During dinner
What Comes to Mind When I HearCar: boat
Murder: she wrote
Cape: the muppets
Cell: biology
Fun: eid
Shoe: my beat-up dansko clogs
Crush: soda
Music: Stevie -
Love: sigh
I would tag someone, but I know no one reads my blog.

2006-10-31T10:54:00.000-08:00

Read out loud the text inside the triangle below.

More than likely you said, "A bird in the bush," and........
if this IS what YOU said, then you failed to see that the word THE is repeated twice! Sorry, look again.

Trying to Avoid Spousal Ranting- Posting This as a Reminder Instead

2006-10-30T10:44:00.000-08:00

Muslim narrated the following hadith: Isnad: Suleiman bin 'abd alRahman and 'Ali bin Hujr » 'Ibsai bin Bunus » Hisham bin 'Urwa » 'Abd Allah bin 'Urwah » 'Urwah Narrated 'Aisha: Eleven women sat (at a place) and promised and contracted that they would not conceal anything of the news of their husbands. The first one said, "My husband is like the meat of a lean weak camel which is kept on the top of a mountain which is neither easy to climb, nor is the meat fat, so that one might put up with the trouble of fetching it." The second one said, "I shall not relate my husband's news, for I fear that I may not be able to finish his story, for if I describe him, I will mention all his defects and bad traits." The third one said, "My husband is a tall man; if I describe him (and he hears of that) he will divorce me, and if I keep quiet, he will neither divorce me nor treat me as a wife." The fourth one said, "My husband is a moderate person like the night of Tihama which is neither hot nor cold. I am neither afraid of him, nor am I discontented with him." The fifth one said, "My husband, when entering (the house) is a leopard, and when going out, is a lion. He does not ask about whatever is in the house." The sixth one said, "If my husband eats. he eats too much (leaving the dishes empty), and if he drinks he leaves nothing, and if he sleeps he sleeps alone (away from me) covered in garments and does not stretch his hands here and there so as to know how I fare (get along)." The seventh one said, "My husband is a wrong-doer or weak and foolish. All the defects are present in him. He may injure your head or your body or may do both." The eighth one said, "My husband is soft to touch like a rabbit and smells like a Zarnab (a kind of good smelling grass)." The ninth one said, "My husband is a tall generous man wearing a long strap for carrying his sword. His ashes are abundant and his house is near to the people who would easily consult him." The tenth one said, "My husband is Malik, and what is Malik? Malik is greater than whatever I say about him. (He is beyond and above all praises which can come to my mind). Most of his camels are kept at home (ready to be slaughtered for the guests) and only a few are taken to the pastures. When the camels hear the sound of the lute (or the tambourine) they realize that they are going to be slaughtered for the guests." The eleventh one said, "My husband is Abu Zar and what is Abu Zar (i.e., what should I say about him)? He has given me many ornaments and my ears are heavily loaded with them and my arms have become fat (i.e., I have become fat). And he has pleased me, and I have become so happy that I feel proud of myself. He found me with my family who were mere owners of sheep and living in poverty, and brought me to a respected family having horses and camels and threshing and purifying grain . Whatever I say, he does not rebuke or insult me. When I sleep, I sleep till late in the morning, and when I drink water (or milk), I drink my fill. The mother of Abu Zar and what may one say in praise of the mother of Abu Zar? Her saddle bags were always full of provision and her house was spacious. As for the son of Abu Zar, what may one say of the son of Abu Zar? His bed is as narrow as an unsheathed sword and an arm of a kid (of four months) satisfies his hunger. As for the daughter of Abu Zar, she is obedient to her father and to her mother. She has a fat well-built body and that arouses the jealousy of her husband's other wife. As for the (maid) slave girl of Abu Zar, what may one say of the (maid) slavegirl of Abu Zar? She does not uncover our secrets but keeps them, and does not waste our provisions and does not leave the rubbish scattered everywhere in our house." The eleventh lady added, "One day it so happened that Abu Zar went out at the time when the milk was being milked from the animals, and he saw a woman who had two sons like two leopards playing with her two breasts. (On seeing her) he divorced me and married her. Thereafter I married a noble man who used to ride a fast tireless horse and keep a spear in his hand. He gave me many things, and also a pair of every kind of livestock and said, 'Eat (of this), O Um Zar, and give provision to your relatives." She added, "Yet, all those things which my second husband gave me could not fill the smallest utensil of Abu Zar's." 'Aisha then said: Allah's Apostle said to me, "I am to you as Abu Zar was to his wife Um Zar
__________________

My Co-Wives October 29, 2006

2006-10-29T18:29:00.000-08:00

By no means is this post meant to mock polygyny, but more so to make fun myself and how inademnate objects can bring out spousal jealousies.
My husband and I have been married for 5 years this up coming muharam and during that time I have come to realize that I wasn't the only thing that put a twinkle in his eyes. You see when we first married, I thought a healthy muslim marriage surrmounted to cuddling on the sofa reading and reciting Quran together. Of course long walks in parks with crimsonen, yellow and orange leaves falling all around us paving a path of total bliss. And raising muslim children was a like arranging menageriery of little people that had likenesses of all my husband's and my best qualities and that they would innately know how to be delightfuland we would stop and marvel at their wonderfulness. It wasn't long before, I realized that everything that I had imagined was just that, imaginary. I now know that husbands, a least mine have many objects that put a twinkle in his eyes, not just their beautiful wives and children. I call them my co-wives (but they aren't actually people.) Over the years, there have been 3 in total (a least he stays within the limit that is legislated my Allah)
The first arrived shortly after we moved from our small, cramped one bedroom to our two bedroom apartment on the other side of town. Once belonging to someone else, it was a obviosuly well loved. Resembling a low-rider pickup truck with the covered back, painted blue, chiped and cracked. All of its maintenance required special attention - The Hobby shop - for new clothes and parts. Soon, she was given a whole new look with the words Silverado wacrossaccross her sides. But I soon discovered that she wasn't just any kind of companion, but that one that used real GAS? Perfect! I guess if gas in the Subaru wasn't expensive enough! She would go to the masjid, out on the weekends to parks and competitions. We were left at home. All the kids at the masjid all adored her. Their ummies would call ask about my husband's new companion - you mean my knew Co-wife, I would say. Even one time, for her, we were left in the The Hobby Shop parking lot in the July sun, no air, babies crying - I started to drive and soon realized I was being followed by the police. Someone had called and said the kids were left unattended in the car. All for her.
She stayed with his almost two years, until one day on a family outing to the park she flipped over a log or a rock - who cares really what caused the fatel crash, but landed on her back, wheels spinning with exasperation, but going no where. Now she sits above the kitchen on top of the cabinets, out of site, out of mind.

Wife #3
After spending almost 6 months away from home taking care of my dying father - my hubby couldn't wait for me to get home. He kept telling me that their was something in the house he wanted to show me. He said he had redecorated of sorts. I though, oooh, maybe real furniture or one of those Saudi Jelsas I have been drooling over. I openned the door and found that instead of beautiful furniture, a beast was gawking from accross the room. She was huge, 52″ in all directions. And next to her was a stack of disks grotesquenessrostequeness. I don't mean to be nasty about her union with my husband, but trulyne was truely a waste and undoubtedly unhealthy for our family. Because of her, no one could enter my home - that is any muslims. Because of her, my husband became embedded in the sofa. Unable to cut the grass, fix a thingamajig or two, talk, play with the kids, study for school and all sorts of other things. He was in a trance. So, I was determined, she had to go. I mean, she just didn't fit in with our life, what was my husband thinking. So, I put her on craigslist. It read, "Must have big****** to watch the Red Skins Win." Many people replied, but only one came to sit down with her. An Asian man and his wife - he asked questions like, "what brand is RCA?" 0r "why do you want to get rid of it?" He left without her and I thought I was doomed forever. Finally, after 4 months of adds and responses with stupid questions. A frat boy from the university seemed interested. He called with several questions, many of which I didn't know the answer, because during her 6 month visit, I just never took the time to get to know her. Why should I? Finally, he came, "white hat" wearing flip flops in the winter - reckless and spoiled handed me nearly a grand and put her into his surburban. Don't come back again! Alhamdulillah, she was gone!

Wife # 4
While, I was trying to manage the situation with wife #3. My husband already had his eyes on #4. I guess since he already knew that #3 was on her way out that he'd better secure something, before he was awkwardly left alone with just me. At the malls, he often shopped around trying to find something to give him the most time for least amount of money. But finally, after an efficient trip to Sam's Club - he found her and suddenly our visit became inefficient. I saw him read over papers, sign contracts and swipe his cards. I knew this was the beginning of a new infatuation which began almost immediatley. We stopped at the meat market - originally, I sent him inside - he came out and said "why don't you go in and get what you want." While he stood outside gazing into her screen, pushing her buttons and feeling empowered. This is how he is all of the time. In the super market, on family outings to the museum. I mean she does so manythings that I can't imagine him getting board of her, like he does with me. I mean, she plays lectures, the radio (NPR), takes pictures, videos and plays games and she fits in the palm of his hand. I guess maybe I should loose some weight or take up some new entertaining hobbies. Well, so its me and her. He doesn't want me to touch her, so any hopes of us becoming sister-wives are totally out. So as it stand now - together until she brakes.

S.T.I.C.K.E.R.S. - of two kinds. October 28, 2006

2006-10-29T18:21:00.000-08:00

I believe it was last Ramadhan that Dr. Ahmed recommended that I get blood work done to check my cholesteral. Alhamdulillah, a year later, I finally made it. After plotting and scheming, I got up enough courage to try and do it with the kids. I grabed exactly 3, hard candies put them in my purse and packed everyone in the Outback. Labcorp - right directly accross the street from the hospital. WRONG. After a near panic attack and kids wanting to know why we are driving in circles, in and out of the car twice, I decided to make things easy for myself and patron the one on Rt 1. Of course! I have been there, before. Once in the room and candy poped in two mouths - the practioner kept checking the door. Finally, she announced that it was a training day and a supervisor had to observe. I asked her to clothes the door so that I could flip and immediatly, the door swung open again - “what are you doing? you have to wait until I come, don’t do anything yet,” said a rather gruff female voice. After a minute or two, the door swung open again and 3 women entered. Two in scrubs and the other, older in plain clothes. We started as usual, the giant rubberband - squeezing my popeye arms. Now started the interruptions, not from my kids, but from the one in plain clothes, the supervisor. She was an older women, possibly in her 60’s (women of color tend to age well), wearing brown slacks, a diamond cross, with a glossy jet black wig that sort of ressembled a tamed Ronald McDonold wig. It was what my dad used to call a “Battle Axe.” We had a few in our family, those Jocelyn Elder types, but this one was rather slender and short. She was making the phelbologist nervous. She started and the needle came out. Then the next girl was given a turn on my other arm. Alhamdulillah, she was quick and way more confident. After being bandaged - said to the technician, “my kids are expecting S.T.I.C.K.E.R.S.” The battle axe asked, “is that some kind of code or something?” Everyone else knew what I had said. Ah no, it is Momlish for , Stickers. Enough said.

Taqaba’ Allah wa minkum minka - Eid Rocked! October 26, 2006

2006-10-29T18:19:00.000-08:00

Finally! Fhew we had a fun eid. No Chuckie Cheese with pizza, the sound of bells whistle and dings beating at my brain or sister sitting at someone house eating chicken “wangs” playing the sock game.
Masha’Allah Iman Taalib gave the khutbah - really stressing the love of Allah and trying on to dwell on nonesence - Umm anisah that’s you!
Afterwards, some gracious individual catered a brunch equiped with a state-of-the-art fondue fountain. Of course, one my kids nabed a marshmellow before the khutbah even started. Chocolate was everywhere . . . Long plastic balloon ma bopper were turned into weapons and everything was as usual masha’Allah.
Afterwards, on an adventure to find the Nannie Lee Center. Now who is Nannie Lee and was she someones owner? I found lost of sisters, plenty of food, kids spilling soda (no water to be found), arts and crafts, moon bounce and double dutch. No, I didn’t jump. I doubt I can even get off the ground. A good time!

Islamic Curriculum

2006-10-29T18:18:00.000-08:00

Homeschool went well today. The only thing, Miss Pesa has decided that she doesn't like Quran anymore, at least she doesn't like it in the day time, because she will do it before bed or maybe she doesn't like Suratul Kafiroon. Masha'Allah she knows all the ayat, but the verse bismillah: wa la ana abidumma abadtum, is particularly hard for her. I am praying that I can get her to memorize up to Suratul Qariah by June bithnillah.
On to Islamic studies: I have noticed that what we teach our second gen. revert kids differs vastly from what muslim children are taught in muslim countries. We seem to focus on memorizing big concepts. They don't know how to pray, any dua's, fique or manners, but they can spit out Thalaathatul Usool or the definitions of tawheed and eman. These are important, but misunderstood. I say, lil'uns, should memorize short surahs, dua's for everyday like, manners like shaking hands and left leg in pants first. Primary grades, Qisasul Anbiya (the prophets), Forty Hadeeth basic fique on prayer, taharah, eating and manners. Oh Quran of course. Insha'Allah this could be a project for me . . . So lets put away Ms. Susan Davis (no offence whoever she is) and stop trying to reinvent the wheel.

Easy Pancakes October 24, 2006

2006-10-29T13:32:00.000-08:00

For those sisters who have pancake lovers in your bayt . . . I devised a knew way to cut down on time and mess. I mix batter in a small pitcher on Monday and keep it in the fridge for the week. I just pour and cook. Oh, use a big plate, to prop the pitcher, melting butter and a drippy spoon. This leaves little counter clean-up.

Slugs and Fungus Among Us! October 24, 2006

2006-10-29T13:31:00.000-08:00

This is old news . . . Twice after returning home from salatul Taraweeh (on drizzly nights), we found slugs in our livingroom. What? They weren’t near the doors, windows, but just in the middle of the carpet room with a sparkly slim trail leading to the exterior wall. How are they getting into out livingroom? Are they squeezing themselves under the foundation and up through the baseboards? And even if was the scenerio, why would they bother? Allahu Alim.

Oh onto the fungus . . .
After an unexpected cut of the grass from my hubby ( the grass was so long that it was laying down like shaggy hair) . . . and almost 10 hours later in the bed, in the dark, my husband blurts out “there are potatoes growing in the hard!” Now, I sort of doubted the existance of potatoes, but I wondered since moving to the DC metro area, I have notice a jungles worth of never to “be seen before by my SE PA eyes” flora and fauna. So, the very next day, on our usual shopping carts and big wheel expeditions around our neighborhood, I found the “potatoes.” Had we effortlessly grown something? Well, not quite! They were brown, dirty and round, but almost weightless. I realized these are underground funguses, or better known as truffles. Aha! So, in a bucket they sit outside my front door, waiting.

Why Can’t We Just Play All Day? October 18, 2006

2006-10-29T13:30:00.000-08:00

Life would be easier if every morning I could pack my kids up and drop them off at school for 7 hours so I could goof off at home. It would be great, I could sit at the computer all day, study Quran, read some articles, listen to paltalk lectures and right before time to pick them up cook dinner and clean the house in a total frenzi. How wonderful it would be. However the reality is we don’t really have a whole of options for Muslim Education and the ones we do have I am not doing cartweels over. So we homeschool and I like it and so do they. We have been homeschooling for about 3 and 1/2 years now. First, I started with my step-daughter who will be 6 in November. Eventually her friends and their siblings started coming for educational activities and we had a little school going on in my home. For a year and a 1/2 we did this and then we went back to me and the girls. And it is serious business. We have schedule, I lesson plan, have tests and projects. We go to the library weekly and take field trips and really learn. So we really aren’t playing all day. Now my step-daughter went to live overseas with her umm - so it is just me a little ones and they make me homeschool them. If I start to get lazy . . . I will eventually hear “mom, I want to do school!.”

I moved . . . not like anyone Knew where I was before!

2006-10-29T13:27:00.000-08:00

Sleepless as usual, but tonight is turning into an all nighter. I am trying my best not to head down to the kitchen. There are many tempting things in my cubburds . . . like Tastycakes, which I might add only tast good after midnight.
On my last blog, I had been working on my responses to an article in the Washington Post by former post write Caryle Murphy, which sparked quite a bit of controversy amongst the Muslimeen in the DC metro area. I wasn’t so up in arms with her comments, but I actually was rather ruffled by the responses that she received from Al-Huda -ites, especially those who wrote editorals for the Muslim Link newspaper. I always wonder . . . why muslims are so baffled by the ignorance of the kuffar. No matter how educated and worldy the individual, unless they say La illaha ilallah, they will never understand who were are. And I am also wondering if we even know who we are? Why get upset that Ms. Murphy mentions the “sisters only” parking or that we “segregate” ourselves from the disbelievers. Or that the hijab hinders integration - I agree with her. Why are we so worried what the kuffar think of us?
Adh-Dhahabee (rahimahullaah) said: “If you see the innovative mutakallim saying: ‘leave out the Qur’aan and Sunnah and bring forth logic’, then know that he is Aboo Jahl. And if you see the ‘One on the Spiritual Path’, [who claims that by practicing a set of prescribed forms of innovated worship he will attain oneness with Allaah] (i.e. the Soofees) saying: ‘Leave us from [knowledge] that is transmitted (i.e. the Qur’aan and Sunnah) and bring forth the ‘Taste and Ecstasy of Passion’, then know that he is Ibless (Shaytaan) become manifest in human form, or has become incarnate within him; so if you become cowardly then run away from him,. otherwise wrestle him down, and sit on his chest with your knee, and ready ayaatul-kursee, and strangle him.”
[as-Siyaar, (4/472)]

I have moved

2006-10-29T11:03:00.000-08:00

http://ummbinat.wordpress.com/

Still lost

2006-10-16T20:38:00.000-07:00

Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem

A couple of months ago, the Washington Post ran a article about several of the muslim communities in the DC Metro area . . . and well, of course it ruffled some feathers. Actually, I discovered the piece after doing a general search on google for "salafi" bloggers instead, I found post after post on this article by Caryle Murphy. After reading the article and reading what area muslims had to say about it, I became really perplexed . . . had we all actually read the same words? I found the article to be rather honest, there was little evidence of any oppinions, just facts as observed by an "outsider." The only thing that I did find faulty was her assesment that Darusalaam and its Imam Safi Khan were "salafi." This was actually the only point that reached a consensus amongst the muslimeen. However, how I and they decided to define salafi or the dawatus salafiya differed. It seems salafi to them was extremism, terrorism and jihadie ideologies . . . where did they get that from . . . FOX News? No where in the Book of Allah or the Sunnah is there a description of Salafi using those terms. In fact, the word salaf means Dawat-us-Salafiyyah (Call of those who preceeded us) According to Quran and Sunnah Dawah - literally means "call", and in this sense it refers to calling to the Truth through preaching and propagation. Salaf - literally means "those (from history) who precede, have gone before". As-Salaf as-Saalih - The people of the past, namely the first three generations of pious muslims during and after the revelation of the Qur'an, i.e.the Sahabah (companions) of the Prophet, saaws , the Taabi'een (followers) and the Taabi Taabi'een (followers of the followers). So, why are my neighbors in College Park so affraid of this word? I am sure most if not all of the worshipers at Al Huda agree to these terms and want to strive to acheive in their manhaj. Shaikh Saalih al-Fawzaan said, " The reasons for disunity are many. From amongst the main causes are: Firstly, opposing the minhaj (methodology) of the Salaf, the Companions of Allaah's Messenger and those who follow them. So the Salaf had a minhaj that they adhered to; a manhaj in aqeedah (creed), a manhaj in da'wah (calling to Allaah), a minhaj in enjoining good and forbidding evil, a manhaj in how to judge between people. [Wujoob ut-Tathabbut fil-Akhbaaar p.18] And this what seems to be the root of the problem - the people at Darusalaam don't want to make a distinction between themselves in other groups. They won't speak out on other ideologies like sufism, tableegh wa jamaat and khawaraaj - so they are what we call Ikwani Muslimeen (muslim brotherhood). Simply put they practice "tolorance" regardless of deviations from the Book of Allaah and the Sunnah of our Messenger. I suggest that those who are still confused about this word, salafi check out a recorded phone conversation between Sheikh Albaani (rahimallah) and a brother who wanted to know why does he have to call himself salaf.http://www.troid.org/audio/manhaj/sunnah/thesunnahandmattersrelatedtoit/salafiyyah.htm

Lastly, I am curious why did Ms. Murphy's words bother so many people?
One person resented the mentioning of a "sister's only" parking area - so what! We are supposed to seperate the women from the men.
Others didn't thing the word "segregate" was appropriate. Wait muslims supposed to seperate themselves from the disbelievers - Duh!
If we believe in Allah and his messenger, then we can't be affraid of the realities of our faith. And no this doesn't mean being harsh!

First Blog

2006-10-09T18:42:00.000-07:00

Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem . . .

After a few months of blog searching and endless hours of voyerism, my husband came to me with the logical solution that I should make my own blog. Since, I spend all my free time on the computer with literally nothing to show for but a few purchases on ebay, homeschool resources and an up-to- minute knowledge of what is going on in the muslim world. I guess now after of 20 years of nagging - I have succombed to my mother's advice "why don't you keep a journal" or " are you writing this down? " Okay mom, you won. I am writing are you happy now? I am not sure what I want to funnel into this thing. I have so many interests and things to say and possibly this might be my way of stop writing in my head and actually put down all my thoughts on "paper." Here are a list of things that are current with . . .
1. I am constantly worried about what people think of me, so I never make decisions without thinking about how other's may react.
2. I want to go back to school . . . how do I do that as a fully veiled muslimah?
3. Where are all of my muslim companions? Why are the muslims around here so weird?
4. My father passed away and I think about him constantly, but I can't really put a handle on how that makes me feel.
5. I am really angry with my step-mother . . . her heartless behavior really affected my ability to cherrish my last days with my father and morn the way I needed.
6. How do I blog in a way that isn't transgressing from this deen?
Anyway this is what is going on. I am a terrible speller and an eliptical thinker so don't expect to always be able to follow what I am saying.